Rest Your Eyes

jiwa tak tenteram

aku tak tau la ape kena dengan aku ni. asyik termenung saje hari ni. aku pun tak tau ape yang aku menungkan. dari pagi tadi aku duk taip paperwork ni, yang sikit je pun. tapi tak siap-siap jugak. macam ada sesuatu dalam fikiran aku yang buat aku tak fokus. aku pun tak pasti apekah sesuatu itu...

aku tak tau nak btau sape. kat sini je la tempatnye. tapi masih lagi bukan.

macam mana ni?

aku rasa macam ada sesuatu dalam jiwa aku ni yang tak tenteram. rasa macam nak meletup!

subhanallah...

gloomymelancholicsoberishsolitarylonesome

Last night I went out with the birthday girl-Ili, Sheila and her boyfriend. It is good when we have someone with us around. I mean someone closer, someone who makes us feel good, someone who loves us more than he loves himself. It is good to have him with me.

Yes, it is good to have him near me.

Looking at other couples walking hand by hand, teasing; smiles cracking on each other's faces with no reason makes the jealousy gushes in my slowly beating heart. No, it is not jealousy. Envy? No. I don't know what is that feeling. As language is arbitrary, I would give the name "gloomymelancholicsoberishsolitarylonesome" to that feeling at any occurance at times.

As I am saying good night at the end of the day,
And you are not here, but many miles away,
My heart is so empty and so lonely inside,
As I wipe away a tear I am trying to hide.

I close my eyes and try to go to sleep,
But with the sadness inside I begin to weep.
Suddenly I remember what you once said to me,
Just meet me in the stars, waiting for you I will be.

When distance tends to keep us apart,
Remember I still hold you near in my heart.
When the night together, can't be ours,
Just close your eyes and meet me in the stars.

Meet me in the stars, I'll be waiting there for you.
With a bottle of wine and glasses for two.
Just close your eyes and there you will see,
Waiting in the stars, just for you I will be.

Remembering those words, I begin to smile,
And gently close my eyes, lessening the miles.
I can see the stars, oh how beautifully arranged,
But you are not there, no hug to exchange.

Meet Me In The Stars by Geri Mooren

I just need a break...

Frequency! Frequency!

I don't know why, I feel so happy today!

eventhough I had to skip the 11.30 a.m class this morning; because I woke up late and failed to catch the bus and train. =)

I've been delivering the positive frequency in myself and to others too.

yeay!!!!!!

And oh, today is my friends' 23rd birthday!!!

Happy 23rd Birthday to Ili and Hadi!

Well. Allow me, people to make this announcement.

3 months from today, will be my 23rd birthday!!

Err..I just need to do this for fun because since school, my birthday has always been on school holidays. It has never changed since forever, i guess. Wuwu!

*I dreamt of sailorBoy last nite. =)

Lipstick Jungle Season 2

Ow my gosh!!
I didn't know that they have Lipstick Jungle S2 on Starworld!!! What a shame!

As I flipped through the channels last night, booom! Lipstick Jungle?

It is a good thing for me that they are only at the episode 2. Thank god I've watched the 1st episode that I acidentally downloaded last semester break.

Hey hey. Things are getting more tense...

And there's a new hunkman...

Rodrigo, played by Carlos Ponce a Puerto Rican singer who happens to hook up with charming Victory! Nyummy!

Charming Victory is opening her very own boutique with Joe Bennet as his big big investor.

Wendy who is almost losing her job over a fraud she made. But that's only up to the extent that I wathced last night.

Nico. No, she's not having a baby. This is her real child outside the scene. She's now at the booming of her career, I suppose. And getting more fun with Kirby Atwood.

Read. My. Lips.

And oh, Dragonball Evolution! I'm a big fan of the Dragonball!!

Kusut

wuwu..fikiran sangat berserabut sekarang!!!

1. CALL assignment = got the plan in my head. yet to be executed.

2. Genogram (family counseling) = half way of 'merepek-ing'. but I've done the family tree and learnt a lot from it!

besar kan family aku? campur belah mak dan ayah, jadilah macam ni. Jenuh jugak aku nk melukisnye...

3. Updates for my AE = planning to email her first before meeting. (we didn't meet last Friday like we promised to. She was in Penang.)

4. Paperwork for CIE. Haiseh...

5. Translation = oh, this one should be at the top. My client want it on March, 10. And I am now on the half way. Lega sikit.

I know that we have 24 hours a day. But I don't have that 24 hours for my assignments. Tomorrow, I need to take my niece and nephew swimming, clean the house, cook for them, maybe.

Monday, maybe we are going to see my mother at the LCCT. She makes a transit form KCH-KL, KL-KBR. Hurmm...maybe won;t get to cover half the assingments yet.

Whatever it is, I need to finish the translation work first!!!

Tapi, fikiran berserabut!!!!

sailorBoy

It is raining outside.

And sailorBoy is leaving for Taiwan.

Again.

But will get him back in 3 days!

But again...

Open up!

I just finished Puan Rohaya's class..

I really really love her class. I adore her. The way she thinks. the way she talks. Her voice. It is so soothing.

I learnt loads of things from her.

Sometimes, we need, really need to open up our minds and hearts to others, and be non-judgemental for a while. Jangan nak dengar cerita kita je. Don't just live in our worlds. Kadang-kadang, there are important insights that'll rise in our heart be it positive or negative. I don't know. I am not a good person. Aku pun buat dosa. Deep inside, I am not proud of what I'm doing eventhough I am still doing it. But aku sudi bukak mata, and telinga and hati aku untuk dengar things yang obviously against the things that I am doing. Yes. And no, I will change. But not in just a blink of an eye. But, itu memberi aku kesedaran yang aku bukanlah yang terhebat. Aku bukanlah yang terbaik. Aku bukanlah yang paling betul. Like Puan Rohaya said, the journey that we are going through has its ups and down. Manusia boleh berubah dari baik kepada jahat, atau dari jahat kepada baik. But that is not the end of the journey yet. Kalau aku jahat sekarang, tak salah kalau aku nak bercakap tentang sesuatu yang baik kerana bukanlah aku bulat-bulat membutakan hati aku dengan melakukan dosa-dosa yang aku buat. Aku tau itu salah. Tapi at the same time, aku jugak tau apa yang betul dan yang paling penting, aku tak pernah menafikan apa yang betul. Cuma aku tak buat je. Paling teruk pun, aku diamkan je bila aku dengar kata-kata kesedaran itu. It takes time untuk aku berubah. Or mungkin, kesedaran yang sikit yang aku ada ni, cukup untuk masa sekarang ni. 5, 10, 13 tahun lagi, aku pun tak tau apa aku akan jadi. Aku jadi makin baik kah, atau buruk kah. People change, our minds change, our hearts change.

Menurut Puan Rohaya, manusia perlukan 'roh' untuk betul-betul memahami dan menghayati sesuatu perkara. Bukanlah roh - nyawa. Beliau pun tidak dapat menjelaskan dengan tepat. tapi kalau mengikut pemahaman kami sekelas, ianya seolah-olah semacam 'soul', 'heart', 'jiwa' lah. The point is, ia memerlukan lebih dari heart and mind. It is within ourselves.

Ya, banyak perkara dan kesedaranyang aku dapat dari kelas beliau. Bagi aku, untuk mendapatkan semua itu, aku perlu buka mata, minda, hati, jiwa dan 'roh' aku untuk mendengar in the first place. Baru aku akan dapat rasa apa yang dikata. Bukan sahaja untuk merasa apa yang dikata, paling mudah, untuk mengizinkan diri kita mendengar orang lain, bukan sahaja dunia kita. You have your stance, I have my own stance. And it'd be brilliant if we could listen to each others'.

Kesimpulannya, aku sangat suka suka suka kelas Puan Rohaya. Dan aku suka beliau juga.