Hatiku Seram

wah~ kau dah nak kawen, kawen la..jangan la ajak aku kawen ngan kau. Y_Y

ohh..kau dah nak kawen, kawen la...jangan la nak buat aku bestfriend, nak bagi aku saree segala bagai..kita pernah kawan ke. Y_Y

(walaupun aku suka gila nak pakai saree)


Oh, kau buat aku serammmm... T_T

He :
I'll never tie the knot until I know you're with someone else. I mean, have
found the replacement.

She:
Why? Is the marriage the last resort of not being together with me?

He :
Nope...I just want to assure that you're not alone. I don't want you to be alone.

Hm...

Maybe I know

deep in my soul

That love never lasts

I've got a tight grip on
reality
But I can't let go what's in front of me
here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you
wake up

Leave me some proof,

it's not a dream

And I'm on my way
to believing...

Rawak

Tiba-tiba...

...rasa macam-macam benda pulak nak kena fikir..

Attempt #1

I miss writing/rambling here.

But I have no time; either to have a lengthy writing, or even to think of it.

Well, maybe later; when everything is in its place.

=)

Daisy

One day, i companied my mom to a plant nursery. She loves gradening despite of her not so green fingers. I love gardening too. Err..or, I love gardens. And if I were to plant anything in a garden (lets not tell whose garden), it will be daisies.

Daisies of alllllll colors!

And I was about to buy the seeds of my daisies and the pot. It was a rectangle pot that I think was so perfect for my daisies. But I didn't because my mom said, "nanti awak takda, sapa nak jaga dia? cerewet ni bunga ni,". Yes, I was still studying at that time. And my mom is kind of too busy to take care of all the flowers and the cats and the people in that house. That includes my little brother who is so called wants to have his own plant and bougth this one kind of plant when they went to Cameron Highlands without me. Yes, without me! Ithink it died already. Poor cute green plant. My sister said there is a garden of daisies but she's so clever that she did not snap any pictures of 'em daisies. Is that true? That there is a garden of only daisies there? Oh, I want to go to Cameron Highlands!

I'd be happy to recieve daisies rather than that of roses. I want to have daisies on my wedding (fantasy starts). I mean, a lot! I want a bed of daisies, not roses.

By the way, talking about the flower daisy, I love this flower the most. Oh, I think this is the only flower I love besides tulips. But i don't think we can plant tulips here. Thanks to our hot and humid weather (only).

see, cantik kan? uuuiii..gerammm!! geramm!!

How I wish I could have a house surrounded by daisies and tulips! Where's my genie?

And that drives me to fall in love with this Daisy. Yes, I am a perfume person. But I'm not the type who loves to buy perfumes. Hehs? So far, my sister and Happyness are the only sources of my perfumes. And mom too. Currently I have two of J.Lo's (happyness loves me to smells like J.Lo, I suppose), Tomy Hilfilger also from him, and casablanca from my mother. But, I'd love to have Hillary Duff's range of perfumes as well. That is because I love her. Ha ha! And I love perfumes that smell like foods. Any suggestions?

And errr... sometimes I wish my nick name was Daisy too (berangan tak sudah). My step cousin's name is Daisy and her plat number is DAY51. Tak achi kan? What numbers give you an ELLY, by the way?

Nevertheless, I don't like Daisy Duck, tho. I just don't like her. And Minnie too. And maybe I shall start digg Pushing Daisies. I never had the chance to watch this series!

P.S: I shall get the seeds one day. Wait up. Wait up.

*Lembut kan jiwa aku? cakap pasal munger~*

Abstract Me

Have you ever felt the lost of things or someone that are not really important to you yet give you the delight of escapism and fun to be with? The answer may vary as normally people do not really care of the unimportant(s) as they are not as significant as their eyes to see or heart to feel. Some people do ever thought about the lost as ‘if only…’ reasons. Very few, I guess see it as an appreciation of existence. I am among the few, I must say.

I’m aware that I’m being vague with those statements as that is how I talk about the indescribable feelings. This is going to be a vague post, you better bear in mind. I am vague, most of the time and expect people to get me and to interpret it. Too much, eh? But I don’t bother to elaborate at times as I learn that humans have different persona that drives their point of views, unexpectedly. If the sockets fit, there it will meet. If they don’t sorry is all we can say. I think abstract, I shall say as sometimes I realize that I don’t really know how I want thing to be until it doesn’t. For example, I won’t be able to give you the precise answer of what exactly I want in a relationship until the not so good feeling arises. I have nothing in specific in anything as I am like a fluid that can go into any angles unless the path is blocked. The blocking would be the trigger of my demanding side, if that is how most people see it. But I am the fluid in almost everything.

Fickle? Not really. I can stick to my decision when I voice out one. I can be so pig-headed and firm with it. Yet sometimes I can always re-plan and re-think when are needed.

It is the way I think about things that is abstract. That is what I am talking about. There are always reasons for things to happen in that particular ways that makes me rarely to question. I don’t speak out much about my opinions. It’s either I observe for my own conclusion that I usually keep to myself, or I just brush it of from my mind that I don’t bother to ask anymore but to accept it the way it is. Usually I do the latter. It is not that I don’t have the guts. I’d rather go with the flow and see how exactly it works. Yes, I know I am still being vague that might lead to the end of your reading. But that is what in my mind now. Vagueness. Some friends said I am emotionless. Partly true.

Besides, I have nothing against ego. According to Mr. Freud’s physics apparatus (the id, ego and super ego), the ‘ego’ that we are practicing today is not the one. Well, let’s not talk psychoanalytic theory here. We have another definition of ‘ego’. We go for egotism or self-esteem. Well, I suppose, some people refuse to say sorry because of their ego or self-respect. Some do not want to make the first move to protect their ego. as for me, I am egoless, I say sorry whenever I think it is wrong or unpleasant to people; as I believe, I never realise if the words or facial expression or even tone used is offensive, even though it is deserving. I think there was one stage of my life where I said unaccountable ‘sorry’ for no deserving reasons in a day. I feel more satisfying when I say sorry to people whom I have malice to even the situation is equivalent or might be actually not. Well, I act foolishly sometimes and I believe you; ditto. In the other hand, sorry seems to be the hardest word to some people. I know a person whom I have never heard a word ‘sorry’ from the mouth even though at times it is the turn to. That must be the highest level of ego that I can tell.

Only now, I learn to prove my points by holding myself back even though my heart sometimes says, “just go!”. And believe me, I feel damn bad about it even though I should not deserve to feel bad at all as the other part is the same of a kind or even when there is no one exactly to be blamed!

Gosh, I have been writing without precision. It jumps from A to nowhere, back and forth. This has no focus. Sorry, people if your reading has been wasted where you can spend more time on other stuffs.

Lucky those painters as people can interpret their emotions by looking at their paintings. I think I need those magic fingers and gifts as I am no good at figuring out my own feelings. Let alone expressing it effectively, boldly and convincingly. My indescribable feelings are way too abstract to figure that it is in no way to reach the conclusion. So pitiful.

Does everyone have that? That way too abstract personality?
Really, it is a question.

Maybe because I just want to live in harmony. Yes, I know this is so impossible in this real world. Plus, that would be kind of boring. Let's be realistic even it hurts.

Now it is a Random Grudge

It is so daymn difficult when you have an unfinished business in your heart!!

It is locked, yet unlocked.
It is over or is it really?
Such a blame shouldn't have been put on.
Now that the other side deserves the punishment as seen merely from your eyes.
What about you?

There has never been an End of it.

Oh, great!

inquire -> hyphotesis -> preliminary diagnosis

it applies to all...

but it doesn't meet all sometimes. We are just a complicated piece with gazillions mysterious facets!

God, it's friggin cold in here!

end of it

Seriously. It is a RELIEF.

Done with all the reviews.

I am so damn sleepy as I didn't sleep last night. Fell asleep at around 5.30 a.m and was waken up by the alarm on Selfish Jane at 6.15 for the sake of going to that boring CAiRex. Oh, there was only one talk given by this man from Iran (sorry, couldn't recall his name) that I think is the best.

Now, I am going home to claim my sleepless night.

Seriously. It is a relief. And damn sleepy...

bukan paling indah

hari ini bukanlah hari yang paling indah dalam hidup aku.

1. awal-awal pagi lagi aku dah kene selsema (actually sejak malam semalam). belum apa-apa, habis dah smudge eye liner dek kerana mata berair akibat bersin tanpa henti. itu belum pergi ke kelas lagi tu. disebabkan tak tahan, aku decided nak makan juga Zyrtec. tapi perut kosong la pulak. so aku cari la makanan kat dapur. ada roti. tapi takkan nak makan kosong je. oh, aku jumpa coki-coki. jadi, aku spreadkan lah coki-coku duo ke atas roti dan makan. terus aku makan zyrtec. baru lah ok sikit.

2. tapi, kelas agak best hari ni sebab belajar J CROSS.

3. tapi, kapal sailorBoy keluar dari Bintulu hari ni. beliau akan menuju ke Chita, jepun. isk. dijangkakan 3 Mac baru masuk balik ke Bintulu. lambat lagi. tapi nasib baik lagi seminggu beliau boleh contact aku dari Jepun melalui sms dan juga telefon awam yang disediakan dalam kapal itu. (fyi, there is only one phone to cater almost 30 - 40 people. how's that?!). jawabnya, beliau kena tunggu turn la. kesian kami.

basically, Rabu adalah hari yang agak packed bagi aku. class pukul 8.30a.m-10.30a.m, 2.10p.m-5.00p.m dan 8.00p.m-10p.m. berbanding dengan hari Selasa, pukul 11.30a.m - 12.30a.m sahaja dan Khanis, 8.30a.m-10.30a.m sahaja. oh, aku ada presentation untuk kelas esok. entah cukup entah tidak ilmu yang ada ni untuk disampaikan kepada rakan sekelas esok.

baik aku balik sekarang, masak untuk lunch, dan bersiap untuk ke kelas seterusnya. sekian.

p.s: I miss sailorBoy already.

words of wisdom

they love you, but they are not your lover...

they care for you, but they are not from your family...

they are ready to share your pain but they are not in your blood relation...

they are...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S...



true friend scolds like a Dad!
cares like a Mom!
teases like a Sister!
irritates like a Brother!

and finally loves you more than a lover.

do you know the relation between your two eyes?

they blink together, cry together,
see things together, and sleep together.
though they never see each other, friendship should be just like that.

life is HELL without friends.

*my friend sent this to me last night and i'd love to share it with all...*

p.s: gambar: curik Juraimi punyer.. =P

height

hah! I have this fetish about being tall like no others. I mean tall lah. not extraordinarily tall. I even feel inferior and yes, envy with if I see someone (woman) who is taller than I am. but of course with the appropritae proportion. with the right frame, size of hip, waist and bust. not tall like olivia, the popeye the sailorman's wife.



I am 167 cm or 5'5". for Asian girl, I think that is tall enough. but curse me for this as I wish to be taller maybe up to 5'6"? that would be like 2 cm taller is it?? i know someone won't like this.*hint*hint*. and, of course with not so huge frame or it'll look like a giant. gosh. that would be crazy! so better be grateful with this height lah kan.

but today, due to the assimilation of races and maybe diets, people go taller and taller at certain age. when I was having my practicum, my students are way taller than I am.



the study above was recorded in 1996 by wikipedia. now it is 2009. there have been so much changes and differences in everything.

btw, here's the culculation for your heights. example given is 167c.m.

1 inch = 2.54 cm

Therefore, using a proportion we can get:

1 inch / 2.54 cm = x inches / 167 cm

Now, cross multiply to get x alone and get:

2.54x = 167

x = 65.7 inches.

FINAL ANSWER: 65.7 inches

Source(s):
College Calculus Student ; Math Tutor

yes, i am no maths person. =)

and no, i am not ungrateful of what I have now. it is just a leisure wasteful wish. ;p

relief

me lord...those crabby pabby feelings i've been going through was actually the PMS symptoms, i pressume. ngeh ngeh. :P

by the way, thank god that i managed to reka-reka questionnaires for my research proposal. am going to hand it in to my supervisor at 3 after this. it has been like a friggin year efforts, i think. i mean the proposal. been working on it since my practicum last semester and still doing it (i think July last year). *vomit*! met the supervisor once, and went home to tweet it here and there. and finally for my second appointment sat lagi. it is delayed due to my laziness and err..maybe, reluctance. keep it short, i'm done with the whole proposal, technically. alhamdulillah. executing the proposal is my project, next. daymn!.

and, i have a good feeling about our seminar that will be on 2nd march, 2009.

ehemm..hemm!

attention to readers who's staying/studying in the main camp UiTM, feel free to attend the seminar on ESQ at Dewan Kuliah, Bangunan Sains & Technology, UiTM. the topic is "Empowering the Mind", at 8.00a.m.

and, we have a special guest on that day!!! *yet to be revealed* ;p

by chance

malas nak update..i've lost the momentum...huhuhu...

overall, i am still in in a holiday mode lah! it has been two weeks the class has started but it was like the class was cancelled (like this morning where we needed to clime up three floors and suddenly my friend remembered that actually the class was cancelled. our clasmates told her yesterday and she just realised it after the climb! funny i can say)...

and with this huge library with the flat screen computers (which we did not get it during our first semester here - why lah??? why now? moreover it is for the INTEC students, i suppose. but why? we are also the students of UiTM what??? - that is not a question to be ponder upon as we are the anak angkat in this campus kot)...ok ok...back to my point. i think getting updated is not really a problem since we got this so called privillege as a student of this campus. so maybe once in a while i'll get to go online as usual. now i miss home. :(

and mr. boyfriend, if youh appen to read this, i love you so much. can't wait to see you again, boy. mmmmmwax!!~

and oh, at last i got to do all the shopping. with my salary and sikit dari my loan yang tak sepatutnya dibelanja ke arah itu, i got myself few pairs of new clothes and shoes. and yes, my second salary is coming in today, hopefully. i am going to top up all the expenses i have made! yeay!!! and i am going to give some of it to my parents. i think that is the way i can pay them back (for now - for fetching me from work and sending me there). and i believe that it is a normal thing a daughter/son will do when they get paid kan? hurmm..come to think of it, i wish i could stay with my parents or to take them to stay with me when i have started working later. i mean, money is not enaough to pay back on everything they have done to me. it is not that my parents ask for it but i wish to do it. when they grow older, they need companions, that is the most important. but hurrmm... see la how kan?

when it rains

i don't mind getting fat if i had Curtis to feed me. ooh~

it is raining. the day is so gloomy with the dark sky. i love rain. but not when it rains all day long like this.

i love having a ride in a car , listening to the radio, in a tiddling rain :)

rain , rain, go away,
come again another day.
little children want to play,
rain , rain , go away.

Doctor Foster went to Glaloucester
in a shower of rain,
he stepped in a puddle of mud,
and never went there again.

pitter patter raindrops,
i'm wet through,
so are you.

the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

wanita adalah papan iklan (A. Samad Said)

kenal tak sape itu???

ding! ding! ding! betullah tu..it's Farah Fauzana a.k.a FaFau.
here in KB, u can see Maya Karin, and other artists who have their billboards around the town, in tudung (iklan shampoo pun sama). ada sekali tu pakcik saya terlajak jalan, sebab terkejut tengok Maya Karin pakai tudung kat Celcom punya billboard kat simpang empat yang besar! almost accident tu! the figure of Maya Karin was so BIG that we need to stick our head out of the car window to see it.

Yeap, that's Kota Bharu. i have no problem with it. it is obviously because of the political reason that i don't want to touch here (takut ISA..ngeh3) until i saw the Esso poster just now. walaupun ia kecil, but i don't understand why it is so exstreme that even if the poster has women without tudung, they will put their own tudung on the head of the females in the picture (using marker pens or paints, nicely) but what about for that picture? if you are familiar with the poster in front of the Esso Petrol Station, you will see a poster of a woman with her hair blown by the wind kan? it is absolutely possible to draw a tudung on the big area of the hair like that. you know what they did? i was really shocked upon looking at it. they tear off the area where the hair can be seen! thus, the poster looks like there's a semi circle hole around the woman's head (or exactly on the woman's hair- hope you can imagine it).
my brother and i just laughed looking at that picture.

oh, i don't want to talk about this but i just can't stand it. ingat manusia ni semua baik or jahat ke? no matter where we/you are, it depends on you la. i am not against or for any sides. we are all human! KL ke, JB, Penang, Kuantan, Kedah or KB or anywhere, it depends on how you bring yourself and behave. i'm sick of what i am seeing here. girls ARE girls and boys ARE boys. no matter how u look like inside or outside, and sometimes ones are worse that the others but why have to disguise about it so extremely?, macam baik sangat? uuhhh! i don't know what i am talking about. it is not there yet to be spoken out.

*hope ada orang faham apa yang cuba dimaksudkan

p.s: buanglah sifat kenegerian, kita kan MALAYSIAN :)

Handsome and macho guys around the globe

he's so handsome. and cute and seems reliable!
And he won the election!

yeay!

and he reminds me of Fahrin Ahmad yang macho itu juga. he he


they got the same smile. and eyebrows. and eyes. ah~ lovely!