Tuesday, December 28, 2010

2011 (Maybe These are some of the Things that I want, and Some are Unexpected)


Well, 3 days to go, and we'll be in 2011.
I'm not going to talk about my 2011 resolutions. No, I haven't planned my 2011 yet.
However, my 2010 is the best year of my life so far. It's the new beginning, new transition which I think I did well.

2010 is the year where I began my serious career - teaching. I was ambivalent sometimes, at odd times, but I think I'm sure that this is the thing that I love doing. This is the profession that I just have to embrace. At times, yes, I felt like shit - I was busted, I taught them wrong things, I was lazy and demotivated, I was clueless, and whatnots. Despite the downfalls, there were more than often, I felt like they just can't live without me that made me felt like this is what I am meant to do, and somehow, I think that I belong to this place - my workplace. (and maybe I'm gonna stay longer here, let's see). I am so grateful to Allah...

2010 is the year in which I should be proud of myself. I don't come from a luxurious family, my parents would never pay for my petty trivial things that I want that they thought were not my priority. Yes, my parents have to control every single flow of the moolah, for they had to raise 7 children. This understanding 6th child seemed not to show rebels or unpleasant attitude if the wishes were not their commands. Somehow, I should be grateful this year, that I finally could be the one who is the resource of the family. I paid for the home groceries, I bought presents for my parents, brother and sisters, and I gave them pocket money monthly. I do it because I can afford it now. back then, I beg for money from my family (beg is too much of a word. ASKED) especially my father. I can say that I pay for my every single thing by my own, even though there were times where I was flat broke and must kept going alone. There were times where I just ate bread for one whole day because I have to pay for my rental house. I was too shy to ask from my parents, for it was quite a big amount of money. However, there were times where I made my friends and family happy when everything was on me. That's how I see it, money;come and go. Nevertheless, I can be proud of myself, for I can afford a simple cute car on my own, shoes, handbags; even though they are not from famous designers, pay for my bills, and an expensive phone, and still can live happily through out the month. I am so grateful to Allah...

2010 is the year that I could see that my life is leading to a better stage. I have found a perfect man of my life, whom I wasn't sure about living my whole life with in the past few months, and got the approval from my family.
By the way, my family is expanding now, where we're having a new pregger among us, which is my sister who just got married in June 2010. My niece was selected to become the school prefect, where the teachers thought she is responsible, smart and reliable to the school. I don't know, all I can say is I am so grateful to have this wonderful life with my lovely expanding family. I am so grateful to Allah...

2010 is the year where I've expanded my networking. I have new friends from other campuses, and we get along very very very well. I think my social skill is improved, the way I carry myself has somehow polished and I am more confident with myself now. I don't give a damn to whatever people might want to say, have said, or say about me, I will just live my life, appreciate every single petty things around me and go to those who care because that makes me happy. No matter how they want to provoke me, to trigger my dark side, be my pleasure, I'll handle with care. This is the year where I really really enjoy my life in my own way. I am so grateful to Allah...

Wow, 2010 is reaching the end. My life is now changed, better and happy still. Wow. 2010. It's like a total new dimension of my life as compared to 2009. Let's pray for these good things in us will still be with us, so that we can spread it to everyone inside the bubbles. InsyaAllah...

This is just a brief conclusion of my 2010 with no deep extensions. Playing with words is just not my forte.Maybe these are some of the things that I want, and the rest are Unexpected.

Okay, next! Buy a house, further my study, build a family. InsyaAllah. :)

P.S: I know that this post is so sudden. It popped out just like that. I forgot the sign in email of this blog until just now when it came flowing into my memory like a leaking pipe. Haha!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Motherland and Loverboy

Happy 53rd Independence Day!

and Happy 3 years of Happiness to us!

this was 3 years ago (I was still young. and cute..and...)

counting for the next phase for this ship

Apparently none of us is a camwhore. Well, the camera doesn't love me tho. I don't remember having any latest photo together. Hurmm..

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hello, Please Meet Her

Yes, my Angelfish, Mable. Haha..

Mable with Boy, staring at me, who is now a night-potato-couchs!

Being a potato couch at home after work, my attebtion will be diverted not only to the TV, but also to the funny fishes in that tank, that is next to the TV. Everytime Boy makes that bubbles, I will think that he is hungry. No, he is not. He just love to entertain me.

Meanwhile, as for Mable, I found out that she loves Readhead. Yes, my orange cactus.

See, she loves to float on that side of the bowl...Oh, there's is Bulge, another cactus of mine.

I found this funny, somehow. She will be floating, staring at Redhead, smwimming around, and come back to the same spot, to stare at the plant. Maybe one day I should move this plant to somewhere else and see what sill happen to her. Haha!

By the way, my Tiger Barb, which I am yet to give him a name, seems so sad. Actually he is a schooling fish. Hence, he will be sad when he saw nobody of the same species. Only once in a while he will be seen swimming around with Boy, the goldfish. But lately I can rarely see him. He would be found hiding behing the plastic plant I put inside the bowl.

Maybe, I should get his friends later. Wait, to get a school of Tiger Barb requires me a bigger tank. Well..maybe I shall trade him at the aquarium shop.

Meanwhile, my swordtail, Rae and Blige, I will surely get your new friends soon.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Everyday, every time I watch TV, I can't help but to look at my lonely goldfish. his partner died a week ago. Well, he committed suicide, I'd say. He jumped out of the bowl which I believe had been days stranded crying for help. Haha! Eh. Poor lil fish.

The lonely goldfish, lets call him boy; loves to do the bubble while staring at me, who is sitting on the couch, that facing the TV, that is next to the bowl, in which he is swimming. Sometimes he circle around the bowl, chasing, oh, I don't know.

Meanwhile, from the couch, when I turn my head to my right, down a bit to the feet level, I'll see the small square aquarium, where I keep the swordtails. Ah, by the way, there are only two swordtails left; Ry and Blige only. Jay was found floated on the surface, not so many days back. i don't know the reason of the death.

Staring at the two tanks where I keep my fish, more than often I feel like giving up. Not only I don't find keeping a fish as ideal, where we are actually take them away from their habitat; I also feel like I don't have the time to feed them. I tend to forget. Well, maybe because they are too little as compared to cats. Fishes don't meow like cats if they're hungry. Fish don't come to us and rub themselves to our feet like cats do. Okay, that shows the unideal parts that I'm talking about. Urm. Guess so.

But hey! Guess what??

I just bought two new fish! I intended to get him (the lonely goldfish) a new friend. Yes, I did. In fact, two new friends! However, they are not goldfish! It happened when I stopped by the road to buy coconut drink. Well, Manjung is really really hot that I feel that I need to wet my throat all the time!

After lunch, I drove around the small town until I saw a banana fritters stall that sells coconut drink. I maneuvered my car across the street to get that cooling drink. As I stopped the car, and getting ready to get out of it, I was fascinated by a school of goldfish that was swimming happily in a tank inside an aquarium shop, a few meters from me.

Suddenly I forgot about my deserted throat and went straight to the shop. I believed that, that was the time for me to get him a new friend. Surprisingly enough to me, instead of browsing the goldifsh in that tank, I walked through the row of tanks and browsed other fishes.

I asked the owner about compatible fish to be put together inside my goldfish bowl. Well, most of the tanks have the compatible fishes. After browsing and thinking, I decided to get Anglefish and Tiger Barb to be his new friends. Now I have two new fishes! I hope they befriend with each other inside that not so big bowl.

To my swordtails, wait, babies, I'll get you new friends from your breed, okay. =)

Oh, I told SailorBoy about my new hobby. Err..well, maybe a hobby. He told me that one day, we might have something like this at home...


Saturday, June 19, 2010

On Radio to Work


Sometimes I hate it.

No, not hate. Dislike.

Sometimes he dislikes it too.

We dislike it when the time appears to be difficult for us.

Nevertheless, I know.

I know this is the best for him now.

Yes, at least for now.

I don't want you to quit. I know you can go further in this.

The perfect time will come for us, baby. We'll be there, someday.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

....is he the one? Now I'm not sure.


Friday, May 28, 2010


...it's only my birthday wishes. Nothing big, really.

1. A netbook. I am really in need of a new computer, for the one that I'm using now has been challneging my patience so much. It's like, hello, I've been using it for almost 5 years, with one-time-concussion. A serious concussion. Nobody can handle my lappy but me. Trust me, you will never can wait for it's lagging or troubleshoot it's problem like I do.

Well, it can be Asus...
..or this handsome Acer Ferrari.

2. Stabilizer bar, for Ahbie.

ee nee mini my nee mo. okay, red one!

Ah, okay, that's all. See, I am not hard to be taken care of. =P

Other than that, of course I wish for happiness for my family, friends and myself. Many happy returns! ;D

p.s: My birthday is 13 days to go, yea.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hatiku Seram

wah~ kau dah nak kawen, kawen la..jangan la ajak aku kawen ngan kau. Y_Y

ohh..kau dah nak kawen, kawen la...jangan la nak buat aku bestfriend, nak bagi aku saree segala bagai..kita pernah kawan ke. Y_Y

(walaupun aku suka gila nak pakai saree)

Oh, kau buat aku serammmm... T_T

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

That Friend

I think I've lost that friend.

I think I've lost him, a friend who cares about me and loves me more than himself.

I think I've lost a friend whom I care about, no matter what the flaws are.

I think I've lost a friend who will take care of me as if I'm his little princess.

I think I've lost that friend, as he's no where to be found in my radar; so suddenly.

Where have you gone? Is there anything wrong that I've done?

Please come back.


Or later, it doesn't really matter.

I think I've lost that friend, which the thought that I don't want to think of.

I just can't afford not to be attached to you.

My May/June (Interval)


Where do I sit/stand?


Monday, May 17, 2010

My Pet

Well, well.

I am never fond of keeping fish as a pet. Other than not being able to play with me, I don't find it as an ideal pet for me, for they can't clean themselves. err..I mean I'll need to clean the tank regularly. it is time consuming, right? Ha-ha. So lazy one!

Somehow, for some reasons, I need to keep them at home.

Here, meet my fishes. They are from the Swordfish family (according to the tauke). By the way, pardon their names. Lolz. It came in randomly after I bought them, right after I stepped into the car.

Ma (pronounced as 'mae'), the first fish in the flocks that I believed has captured my eyes in that large tank.

Ry, that has a errm..kinda good digestive system . See there. the feces?

Blige, the sprinter. He loves to swim fast around the bowl (almost all the time), and chase other friends. And he eats a lot too!

Sean. he loves to eat too. He's body is a wonderland beautiful for it reflects blue color.

Jay, or J for short. His personality is yet to be discovered.

So, if you notice, after reshuffling the names, I suppose you can get their names clearly...Ha Ha! ;p I think I need to change the names, tho. I don't see the significance here.

HUrrmm..it looks like the virtual fish tank that I used to have.

One more thing, I don't have a stool or table to put them on. Well, I'm in a process of moving into a new house, therefore my expenses is s bit tight this time. Wait ah babies, for now, you'll have to stay on the white clean floor.

"La la la!!~"

"to people out there, stop having your virtual fish tank!! Keep me as your pet! Living pet!!"

Sunday, May 16, 2010

He :
I'll never tie the knot until I know you're with someone else. I mean, have
the replacement.

Why? Is the marriage the last resort of not being together with me?

He :
Nope...I just want to assure that you're not alone. I don't want you to be

Of Celebrations


Being brought up in a family of teachers has somehow driven me to be a teacher, myself.

By the way, don't forget to check out as many Google homepages as many as you can (apparently this is the thing I look forward for on every celebration=P).

Click Google Malaysia. :)



Hey, I have a secret!

I wanna go to Dubai.

Eh. I mean a dream. My dream is to go to Dubai!

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Maybe I know
deep in my soul
That love never lasts

I've got a tight grip on

But I can't let go what's in front of me

I know you're leaving in the morning when you
wake up

Leave me some proof,
it's not a dream
And I'm on my way
to believing...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

This Song

We used to sing this song together...
We would keep on replaying this song again and again and again on our long long journey.

He said that this song is for me.
"the song is suffice to tell you my feelings. It tells our story," that's what he told me.

And I, I had to agree with that as I know that this is beyond what we've ever thought too.

This is like a miracle to him.
Ditto, love.

He used to sing this song to me. He's quite a talent, trust me.

Now that he's away.....
...nobody's gonna sing the song to me anymore.

It's 1.33 am, and I miss you.

Do come back soon so that we can sing again.

Sunday, May 9, 2010



...rasa macam-macam benda pulak nak kena fikir..

Monday, May 3, 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I Pledge...


It's been months, huh?

Well..He's leaving soon. So soon. It was so sudden when he heard that news. It was so sudden when he uttered it from his mouth that I thought it was just a gag, as we were happily laughing over some funny matters. For that, I believed that it was unplanned by him. It was unintentionally.

And because of that, sailorBoy, below are my pledges while you are away, that I hope it'll eventually becomes my norms.

1. I pledge that I will never exceed 120mph, be it on a freeway or on my way to work.

2. I pledge that I will slow down upon the yellow light, not to fight the red light.

3. I pledge that I will never ramp the engine like a crazy driver.

4. I pledge that I will control my expenditure on shoes. (well, I'm sure I can do this one as I have just bought 6 pairs).

remember this? I snapped it during our stop at Hentian Sungai Buloh :)

Well yes, He's signing on on May 1st, and he knew about this today (Thursday). For this time, He's taking Puteri Firus, back and forth Bintulu-Japan. It was quite saddening to me as the dream that we are in is still on and it was interrupted by the awakening news, so suddenly.

However, I'm okay with it (at least for now). We still can keep in touch at least once a week, aite? Just like we did it when I was still a student. :)

My prayers will always be with you, and the crews on board. May all of you have a smooth sail. With love from all of us who never stop thinking of all of you, who never stop pray for your safety and health, I hope that the months will go by overnight (it is not necessary to trust this one).

Anyway, you didn't know this - I heard this song everyday on road; and this song is always for you.

One more thing that you must know.
After the 3 weekends spending time together like there's no tomorrow, I believe that the feelings are mutual now. You know what I mean. We've discussed about it, eh? :P

p.s: Sayang, for item no. 1, can I at least not exceed 140mph on a freeway, please? Pleeaaassee??

"yes, you can"
really? okay, babai. you know that I love you, right? :P

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Hello :)

Hey~ Lo~ :O

Well, I'd love to show off my BFF. Err..I don't really like the term, BFF tho.

After years (many many years, I mean); since I was still a kid (to him), he is my soulmate, I'd say. He knows me inside-outside. He strengthens my points without me having to tell him. He unveils my most secretive feelings. I just can't keep anything from him - *sigh*. He knows how my system goes. He even knows the person I love the most. He's ready to protect me and biff those who screw me up!

I heart him muchos that I'd cry myself to sleep should he's no longer there to protect me. ;(

No, he doesn't want to be famous. He refuses his photo or anything about him to be published anywhere, unless for the Ministry purpose i.e. Jabatan Pendaftaran, for the I.C and passport.
But I've already published this. So how now? Shall I just proceed with your photo? ;p

Thank you for being such a darling to me. Eh, making me such a darling to you. Hihi :)

I heart you too :)

Oh, I shall change the title to My BBF then ;)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

From Her to You.

Hello, how are you today?

What are you doing?

Have you taken your bath?

Breakfast / lunch/ dinner?

Have fun with Dj. :)

Hitting the bed already?

No no no...She doesn't care at what time did he wake up this morning. She doesn't want to know if he'd taken his meals. It's up to him when is he going to take his bath, with whom he wants to go out today, what he's doing, etc. She doesn't even care. She doesn't even want to know or ask about it.

Because those are the things about him that she's already known by heart. She knows his daily routine already. She knows every single thing he's doing and his activity with Dj too.

Out of all the things that she could wish for right now, he is above all. Yes, he is above all.

"Me??" Yes, you.

She just want to see you. Having meals at your favourite spots, munching on boxes of Rocky together, going out for movies, ermm...what else? Ah, she can't recall things that you usually did together, for it has been almost 7-8 months ago!

She's stopped counting days. She's stopped hoping. She's stopped all her wishful thinking. There's nothing else that she could wish for but to see you, and to feel you for real.

"Mais...quand?" She asked herself.

Hey, You.

I felt like I’ve known her for life for the first time I saw her.

She’s my reflection. We share almost everything in common. We pointed out to the same beautiful blouse from afar when we were walking together. We have somehow the sme approach in teaching and managing our anger towards the students, we like the same food, we share the same interest; wait, no. Not really. She doesn’t play sports like I do. “akak memang kaki bangku,” her favourite self-proclaim.

I miss her. I hope she's doing great there.

Before she left, she gave me these...

this hub...

the envelope of Kapersky anti-virus. Yes, just the envelope; and the mask that has been hanging on her notice board, i believe since the H1N1 aftermath; that is before I was called to apply here, i suppose.

and soon, I'm leaving my hub too. Yes, very soon.
*yeah, it's messy, I know*

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


This is deep. Thank you le Beau. I heart you, nevertheless. :)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Attempt #1

I miss writing/rambling here.

But I have no time; either to have a lengthy writing, or even to think of it.

Well, maybe later; when everything is in its place.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I'm a Cry Baby, Affirmative!

Ahhh. I'm hungry!!

Just done with the test paper for my students. I need to come to the office since I didn't come yesterday. My father and little brother and his friend were here!! Oh, I miss my family so much! They went back to the hometown this morning after having breakfast together. I took my brother and his friend around Manjung and Lumut (ehemm!! I know this place quite well, now). I took them to the best places to eat and tell them stories about this province. How's that? And oh, I made my brother's and his friend's dream to ride the banana boat!! Not once, but twice! And I'm happy that they really had fun yesterday!! =D

I am trully blessed and I'm sure that my father is happy and maybe so grateful seeing me happy here with the good people whom he can count on to to look after me (even though I'm big enough and deserve to get married), as a father or parents, that's just them - to think that their daughter is still young and need to be taken care of like they did when we're small. Moreover, for someone who is as clumsy as I am that is sometimes careless, an accident-prone; he needs to be extra- worry about this one daughter out of all the other four he has.

Well, yes. I am truly blessed and I can't stop thanking Him for the life that he's given me here. (OMG..I'm about to shed a tears! such a sentimental mood I have here)!. Sometimes, when I am alone and got the time to reflect everything back, I myself can't believe that I am here now, in a totally new place, where I don't know anybody else but my brother who is not always here for sailing, new responsibilities that I think is quite big for me ( to teach Degree level is quite challenging to me for I've been dealing with younger groups back in my teaching history) and I'm doing great. Anyway, I said teaching them is quite challenging as the approach that should be implemented is rather different when dealing with the younger ones. But again, Alhamdulillah, so far, the feedbacks that I got from my dear students tell me that I'm doing the right things up to this point even though sometimes I feel like I'm doing crap.

Here, I would like to thank Kak Zam, Kak Ana and Kak Mas and Kak Ani and family for making me feel not at all alone in this new place. I feel like I have another family here. =)

My colleagues - Kak Niza, Kak Uji, Wena and Kak Maz for keeping me young and free here =). Encik Aslan for making me feel like I have an Abah here (heheh). *dem, this is really sentimental!* I think I'm getting my period. That's why it is so fragile now, my heart.

Despite the busyness and sometimes loneliness that I'm facing here, I'm still doing great because of them. Thank you, people! I heart all of you! =)

Ma, Abah, you don't have to worry about your daughter here. Maybe I'm the youngest; but like the elder sisters, this youngest is also doing great here; on the other side of the map that is a bit astray from the rest. And by the way, why does this matter? I' ve been away from my family since I'm in secondary 1?? To be away from family is normal. But well, maybe I miss my family damn muchos. And to my defense, as I grow older, I learnt to appreciate family more than friends. When I was in the boarding school, I shared every single thing with my friend. That makes sense since I lived my daily life with them - wake up, bath, meals were all with them. There was once I didn't go back home for almost two months as we were busy preparing for the PMR and the school held extra classes. However, as I grow older, finishing my university level, I started to share everything with my blood sisters, mother and sometimes my father. It was like a big transformation of a transmission. It just happened. I have no theory to strengthen my claim there. Maybe a certified family counselor can explain this?

Okay, I should stop rambling here.

But for the record, yes, I'm such a cry baby sometimes* and this is one of those moments. ;)

Monday, February 1, 2010


Hey, it's February.

Month of romance to some people.

They would have started to think of their valentine's gifts.

Ah. Crap.

Hey hey, he's comingggg! :D

And I'm accelerating~

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Yoh! finally I got to blog! Apparently MIMET blocks certain proxies including blogger, youtube and yet to know. But thanks to Jackson, who told me about www.hidemyass.com in which we can go through all the blocked proxies that might be very important to us. Hehehe.

Nevertheless, I think I have nothing much to say. Or I should say, I have less time to think about other things but catching up on my responsibilities at this new place. I'm teaching Bachelor students which happens to be the group thathas never been taught by the permanent lecturers here until I joined. And my contact hour is 21 per week, teaching 2 Bachelor subjects and 1 Diploma subject. I am starting from scratch here. According to them, that is a normal scenario for those who just joined here. And personally to me, it is normal to see me spending time at the office on Saturdays just to plan my lessons for the whole following weeks. I take it as a challenge and most important thing is to improve my productivity.

Well, I'm getting my ryhtm here - there's a senior lecturer who is willing to teach me on how to play tennis, my senior in TESL 17, Ms. Sarah Nadiah who has succesfully dragged me into the sport activities here ( I got to play badminton and netball last week on a friendly match with IKM Lumut) * sarah, your racket is still with me*, Wena and Kak Nik who are always making me feel at home derived from the TESLian circle; Kak Niza, Kak Maz and my highly respected officemates who are always giving me guidance regarding the 'styles' we have here in MIMET. yes, I'm getting my rythm here, so far. And I hope I'll get the solid grip here before persuing on my other life activities. :)

And why is my entry sounds like an award winning speech? sheeeesh~

No, I do not win anything yet. I just want to express my gratitude on the blessings that He gave me here. :)

Okay, I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'd better get back to planning lessons! shoohs!

Saturday, January 9, 2010


I'm glad for the view that I can see everyday at Lumut Esplanade; that is less than 10 minutes from my house.

That's why I must get a camera yang lagi HEBAT. All these should not be wasted. So, to anybody yang tak tahu lagi, my birthday is in June. You still have time to start your saving for my birthday gift, okay. Or maybe just to add up mine if it fails to reach the target. :)

P.S: I had to upload in blogger since it took me some depressing time to upload in Fb! :)

P.S.S: the ships and the boats are just a few meters from where I sat having my ABC. :))

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Welcome Aboard

Assalamualikum and good morning! :)

Haven't updated my blog for days. Been too busy with the new place, new environment, new responsibility and new friends. Syukur Alhamdulillah, He sent me to a good place, where I met good people. :)

Okay, let's make this a quickie!

1. I love the view I see every morning on my way to work. I'll cross two bridges in which one of the bridges is crossing an estuary where we can see big boats are parked. I think there's a shipyard along the estuary - yet to explore. Maybe when I got the chance, I'll snap a picture of the place.

2. I like the people in this company. They are helpful and warm. there's no gap between the academic staffs, administration staffs and the supporting staffs. We are all family. For me, I'm still taking my slow-mo to fit myself in this happy crowd.

3. My office is located at the end of the isle. Again, I think this office is just like the one of my former workplace. It is like a favourite spot where everybody comes to meet up, have breakfast together, and discussions. And, again, my office is in front of the boss's office. Just like in my former place. Oh, anyway the office is a big room of 4. I'm sharing it with four other lecturers of engineering, management and err...something like something dot dot fibre. Heheh.

4. I heard that this company is loaded with activities for the staffs - sports, celebrations, trips etc. Just what I want! To get myself back in sports! :)

5. Manjung town is a good place to live. We have everything we need here. It's just that the road here is quite confusing with all the 4-junctions. It's like layers of junctions where we can go anywhere using any junction which I found quite a problem to me. In general, I'm just not good with directions. :P

Okay, I have to meet the Dato' at 11 this morning and a medical check up at 4 this evening. Let's pray for the best while I'm here; in the new place. Again, I'm so grateful with all the blessings from Him. It makes me think about something. A better thing that I did not do in my past. :)