Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Let Me Kill the Mocking Bird!

Gosh. So many ironic things happened to me at one time.

Yesterday, I won a prize at the U8Buttons seminar for answering the question correctly.
Good news.

Yesterday, I got to learn how to use SPSS with Mal and found that it is very helpful to get me to finish my chapter 4 without stress. Thanks to Mal and Sal.
Good news.

Last night, I wanted to install my SPSS in my lappy but it couldn’t be installed. Oooouh, wadefak? I was so enthusiastic and positive about finishing the data last night and to show it to my supervisor this evening at 2.30p.m. No key in process!
What a crabby paby!

My pendrive just got healed from viruses that affect my word documents in which have corrupted all my written assignments including my AE. But no worries as I remembered that I have them in the sent items of my email. So I dug it up yesterday, and yay, I found it and saved the copy into my pendrive. When I wanted to open the document last night, oh so marvelous! That one is not the latest one that I submitted to her. In other word, the soft copy for the latest one is gone~gone~gone.
What a crabby paby!

This is not the end of the world, yes. But it is the end of the semester. Everything is crammed and oh, need to be rushed! Not to mention, that absurd exam time table.

Last night I was really really missing sailorBoy that I texted him saying that I miss him. I always do this when I just can’t stand it; even though I know that the sms is not delivered and it won’t be when the ship is out at nowhere in the wild sea. It makes me feel more relief, tho.

But what a miracle! Last night, when I was about to act out sissy and felt suicidal with all the pressures, my phone gave that beep sound - a message coming in. It’s him! The ship was passing by Brunei and going to anchor outside Bintulu tomorrow. It happened by chance that he suddenly received my message as Celcom is indisputably has quite a wide coverage that he got at least 1 bar of reception there. Now I’m glad I am one of the subscribers. But after about ten minutes, we lost it. I started to burst into tears because I miss him so much and my life suddenly became out of order. I mean my work(s). I don’t usually cry when it comes to work stress. This is the first time for this semester. Sissy! But I’m done being crazy, stoned, bonked, freak, and whatnot. I think it’s just the time to be real about the reality of it. Oh, sissy!

p.s: Itulah mak cakap, jangan seronok sangat, nanti ada yang nangis. Yes Ma, I did. I was so happy and lupa daratan lately. I went singing like there’s no tomorrow. Now I’m crying, Ma.

p.s.s: I don’t want to be like the carrot in the hot boiling water. I don’t want to be the egg either. I want to be the coffee that when is boiled, it gives the nicest aroma that fascinates the whole world.

(TESLian ‘boiling theory’ by Dr. Nor Aziah).


*today, i had a hard time applying my eyeliner - after a few tries, still it became quite smudgy + edgy. i don't know how does it look like now and i don't care. (i know this is not related to any of the above).

Monday, March 30, 2009

Permainan Bermusim

Baru aku terfikir kenapa tiba-tiba je anak-anak buah aku seronok sangat main badminton, atau kata mereka, ‘babishten’ sejak akhir-akhir ni. Minggu yang aku jadi baby sitter mereka hari tu, masa aku bawak mereka bermain di taman, boleh dikatakan semua budak-budak ada raket dan shuttle cock sendiri. Atau nama melayunya, bulu tangkis.

Rupa-rupanya sekarang tengah India Open Badminton. Kalau aku pergi makan kat mamak je la aku sempat tengok siaran live kat tv. Tapi aku memang kagum dengan Lee Wan Wah dan Choong Tan Fook malam tadi. Mereka memang sangat tangkas dan hebat bermain mengalahkan pasukan China. Sekelip mata saja dah menang.

Tapi, teringat pulak aku zaman sekolah dulu dimana aku merupakan antara yang pandai main badminton. Ini bukan puji diri sendiri tau. Tapi ada seorang jaguh badminton sekolah tu puji cara aku bermain untuk rumah sukan hari tu. Hehe. Tapi point aku ialah, aku ingat lagi time sekolah dulu, cikgu yang buat aku tahu tentang peraturan-peraturan dalam permainan badminton ini. Aku tau kalau single, ‘out’ dia macam mana, double macam mana. Nama dia cikgu Nazman. Disebabkan beliau, aku tau banyak rules berbanding pelajar perempuan lain. Kadang-kadang, beliau suruh aku jadi pengadil. Dan disebabkan beliau juga, aku tau la sikit sebanyak teknik-teknik bermain badminton walaupun aku sebenarnya main rembat sahaja. Tapi ‘macam hebat pulak’ kata jaguh badminton sekolah tu. Hehe. Jom, siapa nak lawan badminton dengan aku?

Tapi, ingat tak zaman kita kecik-kecik dulu? Boleh dikatakan semua permainan mengikut musim kan? Main guli, gasing, laying-layang, rounders, dan macam-macam lagi. Kalau kat sekolah, bila musim layang-layang, masa itu la tiba-tiba cikgu pendidikan seni ajar cara membuat laying-layang. Kita bawak surat khabar la, lidi la, buluh la, selotep la. Kan? Bila petang, semua orang nak main laying-layang. Bila tengok layang-layang orang tu hebat daripada kita punya, kita mintak ayah belikan layang-layang yang warna warni dan lagi besar. Padahal nanti ayah kita jugak yang terbangkan sebab kita tak pandai main pun. Buat rosak layang-layang je lagi ada.

Dulu, aku membesar di berek polis. Jadi ramai la kawan-kawan. Kami main dekat padang dalam kawasan berek tu. Jadi agak selamat la.

Bila musim guli, tiba-tiba je kedai-kedai runcit jual guli yang bermacam-macam warna, jenis dan saiz. Hari-hari nak beli guli. Main tikam telur pun ada hadiah guli. Bila guli sumbing sikit, kita taknak dah. Macam abang aku, bila guli dia sumbing atau pecah je, yang tu lah dia bagi kat aku. Pulak, mereka percaya yang guli yang berwarna hitam berkilat tu lagi power dari guli yang warna-warna. Apekah?

Bila musim gasing, masing-masing nak ada satu gasing. Siap asah-asah lagi paku gasing tu, nak pangkah gasing orang lain (abang aku la tu). Dekat tangan, sentiasa je ada gasing yang dah siap dililit, dengan penutup botol terselit dekat jari.

Bila musim rounders, asal petang je, pukul 5, panggil kawan-kawan, berebut gang. Masing-masing nak ahli yang paling hebat dan yang lari paling laju. Ada juga yang siap buat kayu rounders sendiri. Siapa yang ada bola tennis tu, dia la yang paling berkuasa. Berani kau cari pasal dengan orang yang ada bola tennis, jawabnya tak main rounders la kau hari tu, “itu bola saya~ . taknak main lah macam ni.”- kalau macam tu, jawabnya korang main rounders takda bola la. Macam aku, aku takda kayu sendiri tapi aku ada bola tennis. Hahahaha! Tak, aku tak sekejam tu.

Masing-masing ada pengalaman permainan sendiri masa kecik-kecik dulu kan? Macam aku, permainan aku adalah permainan-permainan yang macam di atas tadi, main cap duduk, konda-kondi, galah panjang, carom, tangkap berudu, tangkap anak katak, tangkap semut hitam (terima kasih kepada abang aku yang bawak aku main semua benda ni); main gelongsor kotak dekat bukit (kalau hujan, kat tangga pun jadi. Sampai sakit-sakit punggung), main pondok-pondok (aku jadi ayah atau abang atau adik lelaki) dan lumba basikal sampai jatuh terkopek kulit sampai nampak isi. Ganas jugak aku dulu-dulu. Comot, takyah cakapla kan.

Pernah sekali, masa umur aku 5 tahun aku ada kawan baru. Suziela namanya. Dia sangat pemalu. Aku ni memang dari kecik lagi jenis yang suka berkawan. Suziela ni budak baru pindah dari KL (dulu aku duduk kat Mentakab, Pahang). Jadi aku je la yang sudi berkawan dengan dia. Eh, panjang pulak cerita. Point aku ialah, aku pernah pergi rumah dia lepas sekolah tadika untuk bermain. Dia ada banyak anak patung Barbie. Patung kertas pun ada. Ingat tak patung kertas? Yang kita boleh pakaikan baju-baju cantik yang kita kepilkan baju dia atas badan dia tu? Patung kertas ni aku pandai main lagi. Tapi dulu, aku main Barbie dia, aku pergi mandikan Barbie tu, dan potong rambut Barbie dia. Mana lah aku tau. Aku tak pernah pun ada Barbie! Suziela tak marah aku, tapi ayah dia macam kecewa. Lepas pada tu, aku dah tak pergi main kat rumah dia lagi dah. Bo~ring! Hehe.

Rindu zaman kanak-kanak dulu. Tambah-tambah lagi sekarang ni, kita dah meningkat dewasa. Macam banyak je benda nak kena fikir sendiri. Tak dapat nak main-main lagi!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

What a blazz!!

PD barbeque or U8A's Gala Dinner last night was the unforgettable moment for me. For weeks I’ve been craving for a karaoke time, I got to perform on a live band in lieu! It was great! 3 songs, I tell you. Not so many people volunteered so I took the chance lah. To hell with my maybe not so pleasant singing voice, I am no Siti Nurhaliza nor Rosa. I'm just a karaoke girl who knows how to rock it! *LOL*

Not enough with the live band performance, after the barbeque we headed to Sunway Pyramid to sing again. Ben reserved a room for 12.30 a.m and we had a blast 3 hours of 'self absorb singing moment' even though some of us got sleepy at the few last songs. And we were all out!

Special thanks to ...
Marlisa Othman...


Vincent Ungko or Ben, or he got a new name last night, Anuar Ben/Ben Zain. He sings real good!


Mohd Izzat who came out with the idea of karaoke-ing.



I don't know who is this...but she had a real blast last night, she said.

and Nur Aziela Aidit, no billboard pose.
This is the first time in my life that I think I really let it out, enjoy and be happy with it. No, I think it has been several times. Lately I am more of a ‘YES man’ ever. Being a ‘YES man’ might lead to you to bad consequences. But what about all the good feelings it may bring? We never knew what’s going to happen next. Besides weighing, we might as well ‘lenjan’ saja. Sometimes we need to seek for the happiness ourselves. We deserve it like anyone else does. Don’t spend too much time thinking on what people might say about you. . Their business is none of your business. It’s about how you want it to be But practically, don’t go too far from the norms. Hm. Suddenly I think this is difficult.

As for me, I think I just know how to have fun. I think I do! ;)



Thanks to the technology. This way, sailorBoy got to watch me singing, exclusively for the first time ever. Wait till the end as I did better there. Haha.

I know, boy, you're good at it. Let's have a karaoke competition and please let me win. (this is the one of the things we're yet to don together).

(he won 2nd prize of karaoke competition at his work place, twice - 2 years of knowing him. Back then, I don't know).


Girls just wanna have fun! ;)


p.s: the mystery of the song that I love but don't know the title or the singer has been revealed by Mal, last night.

it is d'masiv - Cinta Ini Membunuhku. Hehehehe...




I didn't realise sometimes...

At certain points in my life, it occurs to me things that I think I didn’t realise the existence of it. The feeling of it. The effects of it. Have you experienced these? It can happen just like that as if you already knew it. Or, it happens when something bad happens to us, or something bad that we have done or something that others did to us; you name it. For example, you didn’t realise that you have no more clothes to wear for a date when you have tons and tons of blouses, dresses and whatnot, until you noticed that you have been recycling the same outfit again and again OR all these while, you’re moving so slow for your thesis until you know that all your friends are already in their chapter five; and you started to feel burn out, petrified, and feeling to extend the semester. That’s an obvious sample. A bad one.

As for me, I have reasons why I am talking about sailorBoy today.

SaiorBoy loves to read. He’ll read anytime, anywhere, everywhere…

breakfast...

lunch...

tea/coffee time...

sentral...

waiting for the train...


waiting for the flight...


he even finished this book on his 1 hour 45 minutes flight to Kuching.



Get him anything to read and I am free to go anywhere I want without him noticing it. I’d talk to the table, fork and spoon and rather talk to the strangers from another table when he didn’t hear me. He even read my newly purchased Cleo before I did. I love him nonetheless.

He’d buy that heavy newspaper to read over meal. He’d flip the last section first – sports. And then he’d ask me to hold it for him when we walk because he wants to hold my hand. His reason was, “handbag you besar kan, boleh muat tak?”, with no sarcasm because he really needed me (or my handbag) for his newspaper . Actually my handbag is no that big to stuff in his bulky newspaper. That’s the time where I could be sarcastic to him. “eh, bukan hari tu you komplen handbag I besar sangat ke? Sekarang nak tumpang barang pulak”. But I did it, I tried to stuff in that newpaper for him. And sometimes, when it couldn’t fit in, I just placed it between my armpit while walking, adding on more accessory on my body, jeopardizing my vogue. That lead me to carry smaller handbag. Still, he’d ask me to hold the newspaper for him. I did it somehow. For him. But this time, I’d ask him if he’s done reading it and if so, I’d say, “tinggalkan je kat sini. Bagi orang lain baca pulak,”, OR I’ll force him to just leave it there so I wouldn’t need to clutch his newspaper anymore. Thank god reading can’t be synchronized with driving; or else... I love him nonetheless.

Nothing I can do about his love of reading. But one thing that he is willing to do for me is to miss the football match even if there is a live match on air, just to be with me. He’d decline his friend’s invitation for the game when we were together – in which, I’d rather he takes me there so that I can watch football with boys. I won’t stand long for any game without boys’ supervision as I sometimes don’t get the game entirely. I’ll get to ask this and that when I’m lost and cheer with them when the team scores. He’d say it is ‘you and me’ time. I love him nonetheless.

Nevertheless, I can never win when it comes to TV. I know when we were texting, when he said his at home, doing nothing and he didn’t reply my next message, OR he did, a bit late OR, he replied it but not answering my questions or not in the coherence of the conversation – TV. I know he was watching TV when I rang him, talked to him and received a quite long pause after that, before he got on track back, and asked me to repeat again or he started a new topic by asking the same question. I know that when he was watching, he’s in the world of his own together with the characters in the TV that he would not hear me talking to him or calling him for help, even in the closest proximity. Should I didn’t get the story; I would end up lost till the end. I love him nonetheless.

I know the shoes that haunts him. He found that shoe last year when his ship anchored in Yokohama. But I think, there was once, in this year, he told me that , “I teringat la kasut yang I tak dapat beli hari tu, yang takda size I tu.”. Oh, he still wants that shoes.


This is the shoes. If you watch one of Chris Brown’s video clips, he’s wearing that. But I don’t think he wants it because of Chris Brown because he didn’t even know who Chris Brown is at that time. I love him nonetheless.

He bought another shoes instead to replace that shoes...


but he has been wearing his Crocs wherever he goes. And he goes to his reminder mode about my abandoned shoes when I wish to buy a new pair, or if I bitch about shoes that I can’t have. I am a woman, boy. I love him nonetheless.

I know that he’ll get himself hurt or cut at work when he misses me so much. He’d send me an MMS of his burnt skin due to the 400 degrees hot steel that he accidentally touches it for a split second because his mind is wandering about me. He even fell off the stairs either of his clumsiness or his day dreaming. I love him nonetheless.

But he’s not with me all the time. That’s why I gave him my massages in a bottle. He can open one roll each day and hear from me even though I am not there with him.



I wrote one so many things on the papers just to pretend as if I am with him. Just to make sure that he is not lonely in his room. Even though sometimes he cheats by taking one roll in the morning and another one before he goes to sleep. I love him nonetheless.

Oh, I always gave him wrong directions that we often lost our ways in the middle of somewhere, in KL or even Shah Alam.. He said, “ I, kalau jalan kat Kuching ke, Penang ke, boley la. Kalau KL, you’re supposed to be my map.” And I’d say, “ sorry..tapi I bukan expert jalan kereta. I ikut jalan KTM, monorail, LRT, tau la.”. And we ended up looking for the exits to reach our destination, in silence (especially me, trying not to feel more guilty if I were to give another wrong direction). I am not good with directions. He loves me nonetheless. Of course, he expects me to improve, he said.

Until I write all these, I didn’t realise that I miss him so much that I tend to talk about him…

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Information to Share

For my friends who are planning and have the guts to become a teacher, this might help you guys in directing your path. I've been messaging with Uncle MMM via Facebook about posting and whatnot. He is a Ketua Jabatan Bahasa at IPPM Melaka, a former TESL student with a MA. in Curriculum and Instructions. I hope I can share this with you guys. He suggested that I should apply for KPLI course at IPG (Inst. Pendidikan Guru) if I want to get posted. And I have always misunderstood the reasons why people apply for KPLI. Here's his answer:

KPLI is a kursus diploma Pendidikan for graduates.Many r graduates from local Us IPTAs n IPTS who just couldnt get work anywhere else (desperados - like u said) - and there r also genuine ones, who has always wanted to b teachers but couldnt do so.

Many of these are

1. Malay women who just couldnt get work anywhere bec they arent markettable - no proficiency in Eng, bertudung (i was told ptve owned Chinese based companies do not want these kinds - they want attractive ones in skirts wo tudungs) even tho they are qualified! Not plump graduates who hv no comm ability, not 'attractive', no social skills, etc.

2. and married graduates too - bec their husbs r not willing to hv wives who work long hours with private companies, and they want their degree holder wives to b at home, take care of kids, or and

3. those who just confused when they were younger - they just want to go to the universities bec their classmates/friends after SPM had been accepted to the universities - so they took/accepted ridiculous courses (4th or 5th choices) like B Sc (major in Maths or Major in Physics or Kimia) or B A (Revealed Knowledge, n Usuluddin n Bahasa Arab) or BA (Literature) n (English) and they found out that no companies or establishments out there want them!!! except Schools. and ptve schools want only with experience - not fresh graduates wo training!

Most are Malay women - they hv engineering degrees - but just could not cope with engineering job specs n responsibilities - masuk lubang 'tak nak!' kerja in the sun at work sites 'tak nak', or 'tak tahan'! Panjat tangga tak boleh!

So bec of their attitudes and bec of private companies only cared for profits, and bec universities hv not changed their courses to suit the needs of the present world, what is the govt to do?

Cant leave them to b unemployed? They might make bombs n join Al Qaeda? these r highly educated graduates kan? so, send them to Teacher Training Institutes - give them allowance of RM1500 pm n in a year they go to schools all over the country. Hopefully, many will be grateful and teach n become good teachers!See?

...So far, what say you?...

But not many non malays in teaching bec ptve owned chinese based n multinational companies take them - bec they wear skirts n mostly can speak english n mandarin....bec they do not want to apply to b teachers - promotion slow n mostly unattainable! 75-85% will stay as teachers sampai pencen - only a few get promotions to be GB or Pengetuas or Pen Kanans etc

Non Malays are more mobile, can marry late, can accept singledom more than Malay women, more adaptable, etc.

so, Malays arent mostly marketable in the real world kan?

U study hard and decide what u want to b Melly. U can choose the DPLI (offered by IPTAs) or KPLI (IPGs) or somethg else.Govt sch teachers are paid very well -most better than Ptve colleges... yearly increment in salary, long hols, by 3pm u r home, 5 day week, but working condition is not up to std, but they r improving.

Many prefer KPLI in IPGs bec of the allowance n the course content n the lecturers. IPTAs do not do this area very well.

Uncle MMM.
But don't worry. TESL graduates are not restricted to Education field only. PR sectors also demand for this course, as what have been said in the seminar la kan.
(^.^)

Back to Basic

Naaaah~ we didn't go for the movie. *so sad*. Let alone the useless process of reservation, one of us suddenly came up with something more important. her AE. Okay, acceptable. Plus, it was raining cats and dogs just now that drove me to a goodnight sleep while listening to my MP3. I had problem getting myself asleep lat night, and this is the outcome.

There is something going on outside the library. It is a costume parade by the AUSMAT students, I think. They are having their somehing like a whatever week I don;t know - this is according to this guy who was so curious and ended up asking the group himself. And he told me as I always give him a smile whenever we bump into each other. That was the first information I got as soon as I reached the library. Hehs. I think they are having so much fun down there with the costumes of Popeye, ghosts, princesses and princes, memphis, witches, the corpse brides, mummies, jack skellington, the spongebob's gang and whatnot. We thought they are having a Halloween festival. But Halloween? In march? So not.

They are fun. They are having so much fun.

I always admire the spirits of these foundation students whose going abroad later on. They have a very high teamwork spirit that I think it is because they are aware that the are representing the country once they step their feet on the strangers' land. Plus, they will have nobody there but their friends. That's what my sister said to me when she was pursuing her degree in Fresno years ago.

today I am random

“…men go for the obvious, Betty.”

Daniel Meade to Betty.

Me: But why the obvious, men? It's not fair. What about the inside?

Holly : It’s like I’m trying on a pair of new shoes that I really wanna buy it but it just don’t fit.

William: How about go in bare foot for a while?

P.S: I Love You, 2007.


Me: Yes, I have to agree. New pair of shoes gives us blisters and muscle pain sometimes. But we love it! This is not about shoes, young lads!

“My business is to create. It doesn’t matter what you do with it.”


Me: Yes. Ko pikirlah sendiri.

'wilayah mana ku tuju, tak kutemui secantikmu..."

Cup Coffee Sugar - Meet Uncle Hussein.

Me: Oh, Indahnya...lagu pun simple, tapi best!

***jump***

Hari ni hari yang tak berapa best. Tadi pergi sekolah, sebab dia panggil buat AE. Ingatkan dapat distribute questionnaires. Rupanya dia suruh tinggalkan questionnaires dan dia akan suruh salah seorang cikgu uruskan. Buang masa, tenaga dan duit aku je pergi sana. Esok pulak kena pergi ambik pulak.

Tadi, masa jalan dalam vincci yang 2 1/2 inci ni, aku nak terjatuh dek kerana lantai licin kat kaki lima kedai tu. nasib baik tak sempat jatuh sebab slipped je. Tapi agak terhayun 360-lah jugak beg Crocs yang aku pegang kat tangan ni. Pulak tu, depan lelaki-lelaki yang melepak dan "wit wit" perempuan tu. Nasib baik tak terjatuh. Dalam baju kurung? Oh, jangan bayangkan.

Tapi petang ni kami serumah nak pergi tengok the Confessions of a Shopaholic!! Yabeda beduuu!!! Ok la. Baik aku try reserve tickets dulu kan? Karang tak pasal-pasal je hampagas lagi (aku la).

System Overload!

We are two weeks away to study leave. That means 3 weeks to final exams. The good news is we can finish our papers earlier as we got papers on the first and second day of final exams period. *yeay!*

On the 20th April, we have two papers – morning and noon. Both papers are the counseling papers – Family Counseling and Ethics and Current Issues in Counseling. Waaaah! So not a *yeay!*. Upon hearing this oh so good news, I become so petrified. Yes, we still have time if we start from now. The pressure on that day will be nonetheless an abysmal day of the year we’re gonna have (esp. me). Am I being negative here? Now I’m not sure. Both papers cover theories in counseling, man. Like one of my classmates said, “ dia nak suruh ape, budak counseling ni meniggal lepas paper?”. It may sound exaggerating, but squeezing your brain to the fullest in a very short gap is not a very pleasant experience, I suppose.And to make it more a sweetest memory, this counseling papers expect you to get it there and then. 3 hour paper – short answers and essay form. Please God, please make us make it.
The next paper in which is on the following day is Computer in Assisted Language Learning (CALL). For this one, urmm..maybe okay la. Tapi Counseling papers memang tak bley blah! T_T

Before reaching there, we still have:
1. A courseware to be submitted for CALL
2. A presentation for ethics in counseling
3. Journals for each seminar for professional Development and an essay,

and yes, never to be forgotten,

4. Mr. AE that dues on 24th April. I hope I can make it at this almost 75% done of it.

*System overloaded*

Apart from the academic issues, I still have this girlish desire to look good for our PD barbeque which is on this Friday and MPG dinner on the 1st April. Still looking for an outfit. I am thinking of a maxi dress for MPG. The theme is purple, black, white/silver. Still looking! And don’t want to think about my face! *sigh*

*System overloaded*


karaoke lah, JOM!! belagu sampe palau*



*YAAAAAAAY*

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

He's back!

Hey ho!

I am expecting sailorBoy today. But no, he texted me yesterday! *lompat girang*. He was in Kawasaki and just sailed off to Bintulu this morning. I'm meeting him on next Bintulu.

He got me Valentine's gift(s) - nak pujukla tu, dah buat salah; (yes, i was suddenly confused about the month that we are in, yesterday). It's already March, boy. But as desensitized I am with the situation, March Valentine's will do. Thank you, sayang. That's how we are going to celebrate things for next 5 years, I suppose (kalau jodoh panjang. ameen~). Later-celebration it is. Last Year, he celebrated my birthday of June, 10th on 1st July (if I'm not mistaken). Okaylah sayang. The thought that matters kan. Even though you tend to forget date(s).

"...but suffice to say i love you oh so much." he said.

* have no idea why was he hiding under that pillow

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Let's do Korean

Boys Over Flowers, then My Precious You.

Haha. I didn’t know that my 35 year-old sister love watching Korean love stories! Err.. together with her husband. Wutta..? Oh, me lord. They watch and watch the KBS channel, which I’m not sure what number the channel is since this morning up till now –afternoon. Haha. So cute! And oh, my sister also knows that Boys Over Flowers is actually an adaptation from a comic. There are Japanese and Mandarin version for the TV series. Okay sis, okay. I know now that you're such a big fan.

Yes, I admit that the bunch of cute guys are cute and also the bunch of petite cute sweetie pie girls suit the name I gave to the clan, senang cerita. It is entertaining, yes. With all the cute, funny, charming, sweet actions, faces, and story lines. See, how many ‘cute(s)’ are already here? That’s my point. Korean love stories, or mandarin, or Japanese. They are too sweet, cute (again), too ‘indah’, and oh, too overrated I’d say. Is there such a love story in real life?? It’s not that I don’t believe in happy ending. But, please~ they are way way way tooo sweetest and cutest to be real. That is why I don’t really enjoy watching this. The first movie I watched eversince I am a university student was the meteor garden. Ring a bell? The f4 boyband boys and that cute who’s the name I can’t recall. Then I watched them no more as I just can’t accept the fact they are showing. Haha! But when I was in school, I did enjoy watching the Japanese TV series like Destiny (if I’m not mistaken), the Korean is the one with the two TV anchors. Eves? Adam and Eves? I can’t recall again. I was still young then. Now, as I’m getting older, I become more realistic and sorry that I can’t accept some kind of too much fantasy to me anymore. Poor me. It may be a happy escapism to some people and I respect that. But it doesn’t work on me.
Why must they be so sweet cute love story? Or is it because they are cute enough to make cute faces and actions that lead them to the cutest and sweetest love story ever that I am not that cute to do so in real life?? Hahaha. Nevermind, I’ll try to look forward to like it. Or maybe to watch it with my sister some other time.

Or maybe I need to loosen up more when it comes to this!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Fiesta Belon Udara Panas II

Errr.. can I take back everything that I said last night? The part where I said "yikes! I'm so gonna have a ride on it!". Can I?

Because we went there today but there were no hot air balloons. They were there yesterday, and will be there today and also tomorrow. But only at certain time. They will only fly the balloons at 8a.m-9a.m and 5.30p.m-7p.m everyday. So we went there at quite a wrong time just now. And oh, pengumuman: the tickets for the hot air blloons, for today and tomorrow are SOLD OUT. I repeat, SOLD OUT. Hurmm...of course. There are only 25 hot air balloons provided and to cater like 500 visitors. Okay, okay. I think I shall go to somewhere where they have hot air ballon ride for free. Own it? No lah.

By the way, the hot air balloons were not set up at noon due to the hot weahther that will affect the balloon. I think the propane will go nuts. That's why they only have the fun ride in the morning and evening.

Nevermind, esok esok esok dan esok masih ada. Bukan rezeki. ;) [padahal kecewa nak mati mati]

Friday, March 20, 2009

Fiesta Belon Udara Panas


Floating, floating

Up to the clouds

In my hot air balloon.


I am floating, floating

Up in the sky

Where the birds all fly high.


Far down below

Everything is so small

Up high in the sky

Is the best place of all.


Ronald J. Brown

Guess what?? Tomorrow we are going to Putrajaya to experience the hot air balloon!! Yikes!!
I am so gonna have a ride in it! It costs only RM10 per person. My sister got home with this good news. Yeay! Oh, oh. I can't wait to feel this new experience! Omigosh! I'm so gonna snap snap some pictures tomorrow. It could be the first and last time I'd get to see the hot air balloon. And maybe ride it. Hoping that Mr. BenQ is willing to cooperate with me. *pat pat*

Please, go people. It will be there at Perkarangan Monumen Alaf Baru, Putrajaya until March, 22nd. It is such a good news, isn't it? For more details, you can check on today's KOSMO! newspaper. I'm sure other newspapers have it too. =D

Bosan dan emosi

Suatu ketika dulu aku selalu suka gila layan lagu ni bila aku sedih gila. I mean, tak semestinya sedih gila macam time putus cinta. Tapi bila aku rasa doomed lah kiranya.



Mesti orang-orang di sekeliling aku dah bosan dengan depresi aku yang mengada-ngada ni. Aku bukan depressed. Aku bosan je. Bila aku kebosanan tahap melampaui batas, maka aku nampak macam depressed. Aku pulak bukanlah jenis yang pandai nak tunjuk emosi aku. Kalau aku tunjuk, aku takut pulak orang-orang di sekeliling aku bengang ataupun berkecil hati. Jadi aku banyak memendam. Sememangnya aku ni jenis pemendam. Bukan pemendam dendam. Tapi pemendam rasa. Jadi kalau suatu hari nanti aku jadi gila, kau tau la apa sebabnya. Tapi kalau aku gembira, aku lebih senang dikenalpasti yang aku ni gembira. Alah, kalau aku murung pun orang nampak juga.

Entahlah. I can't please everybody. But aku pun nak please diri aku juga. Bukan please yang itu. I mean, gembirakan dan tenangkan hati dan diri aku juga. Jadi, kadang-kadang, kita tak mampu untuk berfikir untuk orang lain. Kita kena berfikir untuk diri kita juga. Bukanlah menjadi 'selfish' pula. Tapi, memberi peluang untuk diri sendiri. Kau faham kan maksud aku? Aku seronok tengok orang lain gembira. Tapi aku juga mesti beri peluang kepada diri sendiri untuk gembira. Kita semua. Jadi aku perlukan ruang. Kalau orang lain tak dapat berikan ruang untuk kita merasa bagus terhadap diri sendiri, mengapa kita tidak beri ruang kepada diri sendiri kan? Apa kata kamu?

Tapi buat masa sekarang ni, aku agak tertekan dengan keadaan muka aku yang sangat galak bertindak balas dengan produk baru aku guna ni. Aku kurang selesa. Jadi aku berhenti menggunakan untuk beberapa hari (quarantine) dan mungkin akan kembali kepada yang asal. Haiseh!

Motherhood Training

1. thisker (stickers)
2. Babiskal (basikal)
3. Utralman Max (ultraman Max)
4. Swimwim (swimming)
5. Bet ten (Ben 10)
6. Upin Ipin
7. Kak Ros (akula tu jadi Kak ros).
8. Ewoplane (aeroplane)
9. Emmm...sedapnye ayam goreng! (adaptasi Upin Ipin)
10. Batman

Sejak semalam aku kat rumah kakak aku, berapa lapan ratus kali aku dengar perkataan-perkataan di atas. Aku layan saje.


Terasa diri ini sangat kalut pagi tadi. siapkan breakfast, kerah suruh mandi, kemas tempat tidur dan kemas toys. Penat. Penat. Macam mana la aku taknak pikir lah hal beranak pinak ni dulu. Nanti la pikir. Lunch belum siapkan lagi. Takpe. bagilah acu kamu berehat dulu ye. Kamu main la dulu puas-puas.

Haih. Aku rindu rumah kat kampung halaman la. AKu rindu kucing-kucing aku. Khabarnya ada sekor kucing aku baru je deliver her babies. 6 ekor semuanya. Ish ish ish. Anak beliau baru je melahirkan 5 babies beberapa minggu lepas. Tapi adatlah anak kucing mati. Sekarang anak dia tinggal sekor je. Yang 6 yang baru ni taktau la apa cerita nanti. Sape nak anak kucing??? Dah banyak sangat ni. Ini baka baik punya. Aku pun tak tau la baka apa. Tapi bulu kembang, kaler grey + putih. Hyperactive. Bukan stock kucing-kucing malas tu



tu dia time zaman dia remaja dulu. sebelah tu kawan dia.

ini baka dia la ni. Oshin.


Ini pun Oshin kot. ke Dodi tah?
.


Eh. Tak boleh nak upload gambar pulak. Tak faham lah aku lappy ni.


Rindu dan Bersalah

"adakah perasaan benci ini
sebenarnya cinta?
yang masih
bersemadi untukmu..."


I miss him...

Inilah padahnya kalau berhubungan jarak jauh, tapi bergaduh pulak (actually, bukan gaduh pun. ada salah sorang yang merajuk). Kalau jarak jauh yang boleh contact-contact takpe. Ini time kapal anchor baru dapat. Itupun kalau dapatla.

Kali ni, aku taktau kapal sailorBoy pi mana. Jepun kah, Korea kah, Taiwan kah?
Kalau Taiwan, dalam masa tiga hari dah boleh contact semula. Tapi aku tak rasa Taiwan.
Jepun, mungkin.

Hurm...Rasa bersalah menyelubungi diri dek kata-kata terakhir yang aku hamburkan kepada dia. Tapi itu sebab aku sedih. Tapi aku tak sempat pulak nak kata "sorry" sebab dia dah not in coverage. Aku ada hantar satu sms, kata "I miss you". Tapi 24 jam lepas tu sampai message report, kata "message not delivered".

Tapi salahkah aku meluahkan rasa sedih dan sedikit kecewa itu? Bukan aku maki pun. Beritahu elok-elok saja. Nanti tak pasal-pasal aku jadi gila memendam rasa kan?

p.s: kepada wanita-wanita di luar sana, anda kena kuat kalau suami atau orang tersayang anda adalah marine engineer , atau sesiapa saja yang bekerja jauh atau belajar jauh.
Will I survive? Ask yourself.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

tafsir masa depan

Satu kejadian hari ini telah membuat aku berfikir. Eh, sebenarnya dah banyak kali jugak aku terfikir.

Situasi:
Anda memiliki karier yang agak berjaya. Anda sangat sibuk bekerja hingga larut malam. Anda perlu komited dengan kerja anda kerana ianya adalah sebuah firma swasta. Jadi, masa tidak sepatutnya dijadikan alasan jika anda bekerja di situ. Anda juga ada suami. Suami anda bekerja mengikut shiff. Anda juga ada dua orang anak yang berumur 3 dan 5 tahun. Disebabkan anda bekerja dan terpaksa berkorban mengikut kehendak dan tahap kesibukan di pejabat, anda selalu pulang lewat malam. Suami anda juga apa kurangnya, bekerja mengikut shiff kan. Di mana anda meletakkan anak-anak anda di siang hari? Baik, nasib baik ada nursery kan? Tapi sekarang ni kan cuti sekolah. Anak anda yang berumur 5 tahun kan sedang manikmati cuti sekolahnya? mestilah dia mahu bersuka ria di rumah. Tapi, dia terpaksa menghabiskan cuti sekolahnya di nursery sahaja sepanjang cuti sekolah. Tidak cukup lagi, mereka (kedua-dua anak) terpaksa menghabiskan masa di nursery bukan sampai tengahari, bukan sampai petang juga. Tapi sampai waktu mak habis kerja. Sampai lewat malam lah jawabnya. Kesian kan?

Hal ini buat aku terfikir untuk mengandung mempunyai anak nanti. Tidak kiralah dengan siapa aku berkahwim nanti, bakal ayahnya bekerja apa sekali pun; kalaulah aku ditakdirkan menjadi seorang ibu yang sibuk, yang bekerja mengikut masa yang tak menentu, apalah nasib anak-anak aku nanti. Takkan lah nak simpan kat nursery sampai lewat malam? Takkan la aku nak hantar balik rumah mak aku bila tiba time cuti sekolah (which is also quite a good idea). Aku bakal kesian dekat bakal anak-anak aku nanti. Mereka deserve their happy life as children. Mereka juga ingin meluangkan masa di rumah mereka sendiri.

Itulah yang akan aku buat. Tadi kakak aku yang no. 2 telefon aku. Katanya, beliau memerlukan aku untuk esok. Aku akan pergi ke rumah beliau mlm ini dan menghabiskan masa aku di sana hujung minggu ni. Aku dah batalkan temujanji aku dengan supervisor AE aku esok (suka-suki je. Macam bos pulak.) Jadi, anak-anak sedare aku tak perlulah lagi pergi ke nursery, sekurang-kurangnya untuk hari esok. Kesian kat kakak, tak pergi 'sekolah' tapi kene pergi 'school' (dia panggil nursery,' school'). Baik tak aku? I mean, untung tak kakak aku ada adik macam aku? Hah.

Dan, dapat juga aku keluar dari kepompong masalah hati rabak aku buat sementara waktu.

New environment always produce a new me! Selalunya la. Ikut GMT jugak.

Hari Yang gelap. Masih Belum Terang

Goshh!!

Rasa macam nak hantuk-hantuk kepala kat dinding. Pilunya bila kita dah tau yang kita dah tersalah jawab soalan sedangkan jawapan itu ada dalam kepala kita! Oh, Pilu. Pilu.

Hati aku kosong. Tiada perasaan kepada sesiapa pun kecuali kepada... oh, aku tak perlu beritahu di sini. Hati aku kosong macam tin-tin kosong yang bila diketuk, bunyinya lohong. Yang bila disepak, bunyinya berdenting. Itulah hati aku sekarang ini. Hati aku dah mati ke? Oh, itu sangat tragis.Hati aku tidak berminat untuk sesiapa, atau apa jua. Kecuali kepada ketenangan dan perkara baru yang boleh membuat adrenalin aku melonjak. Tapi mustahil. Sangat mustahil.

Aku selalu terfikir, bila lah gamaknya aku akan dapat apa yang aku inginkan, walaupun hanya untuk sekejap saja? Walaupun hanya untuk meluahkan apa yang dirasa?

Why can’t she cry?
She has been so rotten
With none of the feelings are spoken

Why can’t she cry?
Fear is in the middle of life
She questions if she will survive
Even though, it is somehow desensitized

Why can’t she cry?
She is frozen that she has no clue
She is standing alone like no one knew
She is crying inside, and

maybe it is about you.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The heart

Damn with everything!

I'd do...

what I want...

when I want...

and *see things the way I want.

Why is it so difficult for me to say this?
Cuz I know it'd go nowhere. It'll go back to the starting point. Vain. Nil. Zero.
It's like a circle.

Yes, earth is sphere, or technically round in shape. Life is like that, I'd say.
As the words saying, "what goes around comes around".

But no, my case is not like that. Nothing in relation of that.
Yet, it is in circular motion. No end, no nothing.
Just back to the point. Oh, no point.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Promise

I've promised sailorBoy to update my blog everyday or as often as I could so that he could catch up my activities that he couldn't hear from me via reading my blog everytime he reaches Bintulu. And I honored it. Up until today.

But I think I'm starting to run out of ideas, or the momentum.

Plus, sailorBoy has been in Bintulu for about a week and will be sailing off again tomorrow. I am back to my square again.

*Tengoklah. If I have any more interesting updates for you later on.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Current Random Facts

1. I am sickly irritated by my skin (face) now for that the irritating pimples are getting on their actions. I have no idea how, but I think it is just the responsive effect of changing the skin product. I hope it won't take 3 months or ah, a year! to get back to normal. T_T (banyakkan berSABAR)

2. I realized that I am easily fascinated by guys who play instruments. Be it guitar, drum, or anything lah. Guitar. Let's do it unplugged boy!

3. I fell in love again last night with Mr. Fantastic a.k.a sailorBoy (change his name due to the sudden growth of grey hairs on both sides).

4. I realized. Just realized that lately I am chronically addicted to go online. I wonder why.

5. Oh, maybe because the ample time I had this weekend and hopefully this week! haha!

6. The shape of my face is no longer as round as 5osen, as Mr. Fantastic said. He said mine is just like 10sen last night. How did I lose weight and shape in a week? I eat a lot!

7. I still have problem getting myself to sleep. *sigh*

8. Aha! I just realized that I still have it in my call log! I didn't lose it. Really don't. I hope so!

9. Whooah~ I'm dying for a real hard kareoke time!!! It has been like half a year?

10. My wisdom tooth grows again!! Yikes!! Sakit mak!

11. How are you? We're friends? =)

Sekitar Seminar Stress: Will Humor Shake Your Days Off?




sebelum bermula..having breakfast.



Md. Adzura Elier. *wink2*. Speaker yang sempoi~



"Jason Mraz"



Mr. Benny dengan Gong

Mr. Afiq shows skills. Hebat!



Aku. Melepaskan gian.


*kualiti gambar sangat tak best. Pardon the phone. uhurm. I love this phone.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

macam ayam dengan itik

Hehehe...aku kesian kat diri aku kalau berYM dengan kawan-kawan yang dari Kelantan. Sebab aku tak bape paham kalau diorang taip, cakap dalam dialek sana. Aku sellau nye teka-teka je. Kadang-kadang tak faham langsung. Aku nama je duduk sana, Mak Ayah orang sana. Tapi kalau cakap dialek dia, fail. bunyik siam lagi ada.

hafiza hamat: blnjo2 skik
hafiza hamat: blh la kiro jgk
ellymelly: ooo pandainyee
hafiza hamat: skali dio mmc unwilling 2 prabih duit skik
hafiza hamat: apolaa
hafiza hamat: #mcm
ellymelly: mak aih
ellymelly: gitu plak
hafiza hamat: 2la
hafiza hamat: gere ja tau
ellymelly: hahah
ellymelly: so bila dia balik india
hafiza hamat: ok hbh cito dio

hafiza hamat: mr je la erk

hafiza hamat: rmh ja meme xodp ore weknd

ellymelly: ooo ek

ellymelly: hehehehe

ellymelly: ok ok

ellymelly: tq

hafiza hamat: gp2 msg je

ellymelly: okaiii

ini baru sikit. banyak lagi yang aku kadang-kadang tak faham...LOL!

Sebab kami adik-beradik lahir dan dibesarkan di Pahang. Bukan di Kelantan. Huuuu~

It is almost always impossible for me...


...sailorBoy.

Test Your Personality

Semalam kami ada seminar by Group U8D. Congrats guys! You did it well. And it was sempoi~

The seminar is about positive thinking, smile, how to be positive, how to change the negative thinking to the positive etc. etc. And oh, the 'brain gym' too, that was interesting.

According to the speaker, Dr. Abd. Halim Mohd Hussin (yeah, we share our father's name), there are 3 types of negative thinker.


Worrisome Thinker - Distressing over a situation
for a long period of time. An obsessive and incessant thought that is intrusive
and persistent.


Catastrophic Thinker - Looking at a situation and
immediately taken it out of proportion and anticipating an extreme misfortune or
utter disaster.


Self-Critical Thinker - Whatever you do, you tell
yourself it is not good enough, or you should have done it differently, or could
have done it better. You judge yourself in a harsh manner without compassion or
acceptance of your imperfections


Capella University

Sometimes, I fall in the catastrophic thinker. I assume too much, in a negative way. For instance, when my friend shows any unpleasant signals, I would think that I did wrong to her. Hehehe. So tiring!


Nevertheless, being free today with absolutely nothing better to do, I did a something like a personality test online. "Are You a Positive or Negative Thinker?" test.

My score is 48.

According to the score interpretation:

32-50
You try to be optimistic and positive however some situations get the better of you. Identify your triggers for negative thinking and use rational thinking exercises to become naturally more optimistic. Use the tips later in this article to nail those negative thoughts!


Haha! It means that I am not really a positive nor negative thinker. I am ambivalent! But I try to be positive as I realize that being negative will utilize more of my precious energy. Good?

Are you a positive or negative thinker? How positive are you? Or how negative are you? I suggest u try the test! =)


*jump*



And today is my little brother's 19th birthday!! He is the baby in the family who acts more like a 'hero'. 'Pendekar Slebet' - that's what we used to call him and the other cousin for being a sissy-ultraman when they were kids. I don't have his picture with me now. But the siblings raya picture will help.

he's on the left side in dark purple baju melayu. Slightly more 'filled' than my brother on the right side that bother him so much everytime we all gather because we would ask mom to get him a 'starter bra' due to the excess fat on his breast. Haha!. He wants to be a Navy like my brother but he has quite a serious short sight.

It's Almost Always Impossible

It’s almost always impossible
To tackle a heart that is pinned by faith.
It’s like being thumped
and
thumped as the heart pounding.

It’s almost always impossible
To tell a heart that everything is okay
To keep on coaxing every time she is crying
Longing for…the heart knows no more.

It’s almost always impossible
To hide a heart that is twisted for comfort
That everything is fine
The way it should always be

It’s almost always impossible.



Friday, March 13, 2009

1/4 hari yang pening

Its only quarter a day but I feel like breaking my leg and squeezing all my energy off!

Mari kita mulakan dari awal pagi.

Jam 7 lebih-lebih, mak aku call, beritahu pasal posting for tutor. Ye la, dah nak grad kan, so kene la cari masa depan. Sebenarnya, aku ada appointment dengan Supervisor AE aku, Pn. Nazeera Ahmed Bazari pada jam 9.30. Tapi memandangkan agak awal lagi untuk aku bangun, aku buat keputusan untuk lelapkan sikit lagi mata dalam 10 - 15 minit ke. Jadi aku tutup la kejap mata.

Aku bangun. Jam menunjukkan pukul 9.26 pagi!!!! Wahlauwei!! Ini mengundang masalah! Aku pun terus sms Puan Nazeera, "Salam Puan, can we meet at 10.30?". Sekurang-kurangnya bagilah masa untuk aku mandi, dan menseterika baju kurung (hari Jumaat kena pakai baju kurung), dan bersiap-siap. Aku baru nak bergegas bangun pergi mandi. Puan Nazeera telefon aku. Adoiii!! Kantoi la macam ni. Aku tak jawab. Aku lemaskan telefon aku bawah bantal. Hahaha tak profesionalnya aku! Tapi lepas tu, atas rasa tanggungjawab dalam kemamaian, aku pun telefon beliau semula dan mengaku yang aku terlambat bangun (comelnye, dah besar-besar macam ni pun boleh jadi kes macam ni). Beliau tak marah, tapi suruh aku letak aku punya proposal dalam mailbox beliau. Dan juga beliau sempat bagi lecture kat aku tentang betapa lambatnya ku berbanding orang lain dan tenatng macam-macam lagi yang aku kene buat nanti. Aku rasa, beliau juga agak lambat. Aku dengar seperti beliau tengah memandu sambil cakap telefon.

Ok. Ok. Itu fasa pertama yang aku berjaya lepasi.

Aku pun pergi mandi, tarik dari almari baju kurung merah yang dah lama aku tak pakai sebab kelas hanya ada pada hari tak rasmi sahaja (Selasa - Khamis). Aku seterika baju dan bla..bla..bla...

Hujan. Aku pakai selipar jepun saja. Tak kuasa nak basahkan gladiator mahupun crocs aku.

Aku pun keluar dari rumah. Tau tak? Manusia pertama yang aku nampak sejurus keluar daru rumah siapa?? Haha! Mestilah 'eyecandy' aku. Beliau tengah berjalan keluar dari fakulti. Tapi tidaklah aku mengejarnya untuk jadi terserempak atau berselisih kan. Aku abaikan saja sebab banyak lagi kerja penting aku nak kene buat. Aku pergi koperasi INTEC atau nama dia "INTEC Shoppe" untuk beli envelop. Wah, tau tak, koperasi tu charge printing lagi murah dari library mahupun tempat-tempat lain. RM 0.20 saje sekeping! "Ok lah, lepas ni aku nak datang print kat sini lah", aku cakap kat diri sendiri.

Aku pun pergi library untuk buat final touch up kat proposal aku ni. nk touch up dan tambah-tambah sikit la. Tapi alamak, macam lama je aku lepak library sebab susah nk cari research yang aku hendak mahupun jurnal ataupun artikel. Haiseh. Mesti Puan Nazeera hairan kenapa lambat sangat aku nak letak proposal ni dalam mailbox beliau. Hurm..ada lah dalam satu jam jugak kot aku ambik masa. Oh, aku terlupa pulak bawak aku punya appendices yang dah aku fotostat dua minggu lalu. Jadi, aku kene balik rumah la lepas ni.

memandangkan koperasi yang aku nak pergi print ni lagi dekat dengan library, aku pun bergegas la ke situ untuk dapatkan printing murah. Lajunya aku berjalan sampai terkelepet-kelepet selipar jepun aku bunyinya. Eh, bukan aku punya. Kawan serumah aku punya. Aku ingatkan pakai selipar jepun lagi cepat perjalanan aku. Kurang tepat rupanya teori itu. Tambah pulak dengan baju kurung yang agak besar ni. Leceh betul. Taktau la kenapa dia jadi besar. Aku mengecil ke? Takpelah, nasib baik kaler dia aku suka. Dan fabriknya juga. Ok. Aku pun sampai kat ko-op tu dengan semput dek berjalan laju tadi. Oh, tuhan....tau tak, printer kat situ ink habis!!!! Tapi tadi aku nampak ada orang print! Aku sangat kecewa. Dan mereflek kembali, "kalaulah aku print je kat library tadi." Aku pun beredar dengan kepenatan dan hati yang kecewa.

Aku jalan-laju-laju lagi nak balik rumah, ambik helaian appedices aku. Nasib baik rumah depan fakulti ni je. Dekat padestrian walk tu, ramai pulak orang berjalan. Aku ni kalau boleh nak berjalan dengan kelajuan cahaya. Aku tak peduli orang lain, aku redah je. Bukannya mereka berjalan lambat mana pun, walaupun ada yang melenggang kangkong. Tapi aku ni berkaki panjang, 1 langkah dah sama dengan 2 langkah orang yang kakinya kurang panjang. tambah pulak dengan fasa kelajuan yang maksima. Kiralah sendiri.

Ok. Aku sampai rumah, ambik apa yang patut. berjalan laju lagi ke fakulti. Aduh...perut aku lapar. Pedulikan. Aku pergi library lagi, panjat tangga library yang ALhamdulillah, aku tak pernah jatuh algi setakat ni (i'm an accident prone). Print semua kerja. habis rm 7.50 aku! Setakat ni, aku dah ada 5 copies of research proposal kot. Huhuhu..abaikan..abaikan..nama lagi nak grad kan. Dah siap print semua, aku pergi lah kat blok T, pejabat Puan Nazeera. nasib baik pejabat dia belakang library je. Sampai sana, panjat tangga lagi. Aku tinggalkan proposal aku dalam mailbox beliau dan kembali ke library.

Ini. Aku dah sampai sini, dekat PC kegemaran aku, A44. Sekarang aku nk tambah-tambah sikit lagi idea dan aktiviti dekat WWW Lesson Plan aku. Aku dah siap, tapi time mandi pagi tadi dapat idea baru pulak. He he...

* bestnye hari korang-korang yang keluar having fun!

Oooh. Panjang pulak entri aku kali ni!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

He listens to me!

haha!

God must be listening ot me...

On my way back from the library just now, I saw the eyecandy!!!

He was sitting on the bench, in front of the house of this flat, where I have never seen him ever sat there before. miracle~


I don't know where he lives. Maybe they are just sitting there lepaking after class, today. But how come I have never seen him there before? Dahla time pegi kelas tadi pun sama2 sampai kat gate! haha! gatai!

btw,

I did not notice him there until I was walking right in front of him. I was so shy that i just walked, pretending that i did not notice him, that my head banged that pokok bunga kertas makcik tu yang menjalar-jalar tu. choih! Hilang segala keayuan! :P

What's the point?? No point. Because I don't think he notices me. And on top of it, he does not know that he is my eye candy.

:)

p.s: sailorBoy, don't be angry. This is just for fun. He looks more or less like you pun, okay. But of course you're handsomer, cuter, sweeter, sexier and stronger. mmmwax! I LOVE YOU.

(~.^)\/




No highlight of the day...



Anybody, cheer me up, pwieezz~


:'(

Appreciation

Muhammad Adam Kane Yong.

Its good to get in touch with him back. He has been missing in action for months and years. He comes and goes. Macam biskut, I told him. Last night we had a quick IM and got updated with our current numbers. He has been travelling a lot. We have been like this for like err..since I was in my semester 1 doing my pre-degree in Kuantan. I was 18 then.And he was still a Chinese. Now he is a Muslim for 2-3 years if I get it right, married with the girl that he had been talking about to me and now the have a son, Michael (I think I spell it right).

He knows all my secrets, affairs and what not. He knows about all my exboyfriends - Malay, half-Javanese, Christian-Indian, the same age and 10 years older. Hahaha. And of course the current one. He knows things that I don't know about myself. He is my friendly neighbourhood botakman, he said. He is meticulous. He would interrogate me for every possible single details about any feelings that I had. He helped me to make decision from the view of an adult when I was younger. Even now he still lecture me like I am a sweet little girl whenever he gets the chance. He says I am yet to see the world. He said this years ago and said it again last night. I don't know when exactly I am going to see the world. But the most important thing is, and thing that he gets it right for being knowing me all this while, he said that I am adventerous. I like that. I am adventerous. People may not see it how but I know I am. And Adam knows that. Of all the problems and stupidities I have been telling him, he came out with a conclusion - I am adventerous. Yet, he teaches me to be realistic and practical that some of the adventures that I am about to jump in might not be necessary for me.

It might not be vital for him, but I really appreciate his existance in my chapters. I appreciate all the characters appeared in my chapters. Even though they come and go. Whether they stay with me or they just go. I appreciate them. I appreciate all of you for being in my story. Because I always have learnt, am learning and will always learn from you in subtle ways. Thank you.

Well, I know. I am schmaltzy.


And by the way, Adam Kane is 33. Yes, I think I can make friends with older people very well. ;p

Rest Your Eyes

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

jiwa tak tenteram

aku tak tau la ape kena dengan aku ni. asyik termenung saje hari ni. aku pun tak tau ape yang aku menungkan. dari pagi tadi aku duk taip paperwork ni, yang sikit je pun. tapi tak siap-siap jugak. macam ada sesuatu dalam fikiran aku yang buat aku tak fokus. aku pun tak pasti apekah sesuatu itu...

aku tak tau nak btau sape. kat sini je la tempatnye. tapi masih lagi bukan.

macam mana ni?

aku rasa macam ada sesuatu dalam jiwa aku ni yang tak tenteram. rasa macam nak meletup!

subhanallah...

gloomymelancholicsoberishsolitarylonesome

Last night I went out with the birthday girl-Ili, Sheila and her boyfriend. It is good when we have someone with us around. I mean someone closer, someone who makes us feel good, someone who loves us more than he loves himself. It is good to have him with me.

Yes, it is good to have him near me.

Looking at other couples walking hand by hand, teasing; smiles cracking on each other's faces with no reason makes the jealousy gushes in my slowly beating heart. No, it is not jealousy. Envy? No. I don't know what is that feeling. As language is arbitrary, I would give the name "gloomymelancholicsoberishsolitarylonesome" to that feeling at any occurance at times.

As I am saying good night at the end of the day,
And you are not here, but many miles away,
My heart is so empty and so lonely inside,
As I wipe away a tear I am trying to hide.

I close my eyes and try to go to sleep,
But with the sadness inside I begin to weep.
Suddenly I remember what you once said to me,
Just meet me in the stars, waiting for you I will be.

When distance tends to keep us apart,
Remember I still hold you near in my heart.
When the night together, can't be ours,
Just close your eyes and meet me in the stars.

Meet me in the stars, I'll be waiting there for you.
With a bottle of wine and glasses for two.
Just close your eyes and there you will see,
Waiting in the stars, just for you I will be.

Remembering those words, I begin to smile,
And gently close my eyes, lessening the miles.
I can see the stars, oh how beautifully arranged,
But you are not there, no hug to exchange.

Meet Me In The Stars by Geri Mooren

I just need a break...