To Box a Five Year

Sekarang baru aku rasa apa yang selalunya orang rasa bila nak berpisah dengan kawan-kawan yang tinggal sama-sama untuk beberapa tahun. Pilu. Ahad ni, sorang housemate aku, Eapa dah nak balik Kuching. Dia dah siap packing kot. Ili pun dah start packing. Aku? Aku belum mula lagi. Ini siap balik rumah kakak lagi ni.

*sigh*. Itu je la yang mampu aku keluarkan bila terfikir hal packing ni. Fikir Buku-buku aku, baju, desk, almari, kasut. Oh, kasut. Ini lah yang paling aku lemah sekali. Takdela banyak mana sangat kot. tak lebih 20 kot. Tapi mesti aku akan terjumpa kasut-kasut yang aku tak pernah pakai, yang kadang-kadang aku tak ingat pun aku ada kasut tu. Itu la yang aku jumpa masa aku donate beberapa kasut untuk Gaza dulu. Hurm. Malasnye nak start packing. To box my five years here. Aku tengok je rak buku, berapa kotak la aku perlu untuk simpan semuanya? Aku pulak bukanla jenis yang buang buku-buku. Separuh aku nak bagi orang. Tapi itu pun still banyak lagi. Ish.

*Fikiran terganggu.

Wandering Mind and Happy Tummy

ballGosh. I don't know what happened to me today. This evening, in the LRT, I was supposed to stop at Abdullah Hukum from KL Sentral. Somehow, I didn't know how, I missed the station! I didn't realize it until the next thing I knew was I heard the announcement telling that the next station is Kelana Jaya. Ha?! My sister even called me asking where was I and I told her that I was at Taman Jaya in which is way way too far from Abdullah Hukum. The station is just two stations away from Sentral and I missed it. Or did not realise it, to be exact! I didn't knoe what was I thinking at that time. My oh my!


However, I've got something delicious to share with all of you. It is our first time for Ili and I and maybe it will be the first for some of you too. We had our tea time at KL Sentral today. The place was Hot & Cold Roll. Our verdict: Nyummy!

They serve paratha and crispy. We can have different flavours of them. Paratha pizza, chicken and cheese, BBQ beef and many more. As for crispy, we can have chocolate banana, peanut and what, I can't recall. But the taste is mesmerizing and oh, mouth watering. We had two parathas unplanned!

Chicken and cheese paratha

paratha pizza. I suggest this!

making crispy. I'm not sure how does it taste. But I think it is more or less like crispy thosai.

see! the 'Bhai' there are so friendly! They speak HIndi.

The paratha is just RM3.90 each. So cheap, nyummy and filling! It is just a kiosk in front of the Chicken Rice Shop bukan sekadar nasi ayam. They also have other outlets in Sunway Pyramid, Subang abd etc. Hehs.

Masquerade Graduation Night II

Here are some pics from my friends' canggih camera. Thank god to our Facebook circle, eventhough photoes are overloaded there!

My most favourite mask. By Syameer

The simplest paper bag mask. Low cost. by Hadi. Next to him is Adris

The coolest 'why so serious' face paint. By Tajuzzaman or Boteng.

the girl in red is Adris's girlfriend.

Well.. yeah. I sang again that night. Haha! It was Rocket by Yuna. Actually it was Naja's turn to show off her talent. I was there just to help out. But it turned out...haha! self-absorb! Tapi you guys tak kisah kan? Naja pun ada nyanyi jugak kan? Ngee~


a song from JUNO.

;(



Oh, 1..2..3..yes, there are only 12 guys there. These are the only guys we have in our batch. Our course has the least number of male students, I suppose. In a class, there would be at least 2-3 guys for every semester. Haha!

Almost everybody is in the sad mode now. The end of the students' life is felt by almost everybody. I am one of them. But as the feelings are mixed up, honestly, I don't know what I feel. It is not neutral either. I just have no idea. Maybe after all these, I will really know what exactly my feeling is. I will realise that it will be just a memory.

sweet memories...

Venue: KGSAAS Shah Alam

Mode: N/A

Masquerade Graduation Night

me with CLEO Bachelor #44!!

some of the girls!

last night was the last night we got to be together. After this, no more the TESLians as crazy as we are. But it shall not be the end of everything. Because we still have Facebook! yay!

SA-KBR-SA

...within 42 hours...

*by Ili

"pakcik, saya nak pinjam itu?"

errr..eh, pakcik! Nak pinjam~

it was a fun evening!

bye..see ya!

off to SA!

Happy? You?

I shall be happy today.

I am happy.

I don't know why.

But I feel happy.

Or maybe because I don't feel that bad feeling anymore.

Maybe because I've looked at/done/committed to something that makes me feel better.

I'm a happy Ellyphant!

.

.

.

.

Or, actually it is not really a 'happy'.

It is 'pleased'.

I feel pleased today. A bit. I've done my part. So...

Err..nevermind...what? wutta?

Ngeee~

Could You Please Lend Me a Shoulder, Please?

Or maybe two...

God, I need a stronger shoulder to lean on.

I thought I am strong. Or maybe I'm tired of being so strong for myself.

I just need a stronger shoulder to lean on.

Just for a while. No word, would be fine. Just for a while.

God, I need a stronger shoulder to lean on.

Can I lean on you?

You? Yeah, YOU.

Seriously...

Or I should just leave and come again some other time?

It won't do any good either.

I want it to be better.

I need a stronger shoulder to lean on.

So could you please lend me your shoulder, please?

Just for a while so that I can be stronger...just a shoulder.

YAY~

Aaaa. The '5 years' is now OVER. What do I do next?

get married...

..the REAL birds and the bees..nyum! nyum!

...have a kid..beautiful and handsome ones...

...be a super competent mother...or a super slender mother

..with him, the wonderful husband and father...

.

.

.

.

.

haha! okay okay. I shall save that first. Maybe for 2 years 3 years from now?



... we still have a long long way to go...

Actually, I don't know what should I do.

All I know is that I still owe Puan Rohaya a reflective journal and a portfolio, and my AE is yet to be finalized. yyyargh!

Yeehawt!

Ah. I was so busy last night drowning myself with notes, theories, applications and terms that I didn't spend enough time with sailorBoy. Poor boy. And by the time I finished the first paper in the afternoon, I already couldn't reach him. Poor me. He's off to Niigata this time. I should have asked him to bring back a Doraemon to rescue me next ime.

Well, apparently the two papers we have been stuggling over are now over.

eh. eh. belum grad lagi. sebab tu lah lompat pun tak bape nak jadi..

In fact, I went out earlier for the second paper. It is now actually still the time allocated for the paper. Up to 5.15pm. But what to goreng in 3 hours if we didn't really revise the chapters? Plus, I think most of the answers are redundant or *cough* more to common sense*cough*. Wahaha! I really gambled for this paper this time! But the most important thing is I get to redeem my rest at least for tonight!

Hurm..tomorrow is our last paper for this final final exam. CALL. Wa wa wee wa!

and I am still not fully recovered from this flu, fever and mild cough. Great!

Man, I'm so gonna miss all these! Should I? or Shouldn't I? terngiang-ngiang pulak lagu Graduation kat telinga. terus rase nak p karaoke plak!

Alamak! still got no outfit for the MPG!! haiseh!

For You

hello my princess,

i miss u so much, two weeks gone by like forever here, wish i would see your face everyday here. i know your busy preparing for your exam, i just want to tell you that i believe in you. i hope you will get well soon n please don't push yourself too hard. make sure you get enough rest.

I'll be praying for your success always my princess. I'm missing you, thinking of you and counting every single day till the day we can be together again.

love you so so much.

The Fellas

Hurmm..after half a day at the library, we went to have our late lunch at D.E (mamak darul ehsan). And I still don't know what have been absorbed

After this, we won't get to lepak-lepak here anymore. Nobody will give us free kacang and discounts.

While having my meal, Das occured in my mind. Das was one of the mamak there. Good looking one, neat, and fair skin. Hehehe. When it comes to Das, Muthu would come into the picture as well because Das sent his regard ot me via Muthu that day. Yes, we know most of the names there. Das, Muthu, Halim, Raja, Din, Shanu, Abadi, Harun, Uncle Pisang (because he always give us free pisang whenever we asked for it). And also kacang for their ABC.


We are their precious regular customers kot. Haha! And not to foget, we are like one of the biggest stakeholders there. We can have anything in our ways. We can ask them to fix the tea, coffee or anything. We can demand extra chicken, tauhu, extra pedas as we wish for. That's the good side of being nice to other people. I think they treat us like their family. Or maybe close friends because I'm pretty sure they are lonely here. Far from their family - wife, children. And also, Halim loves kids. They all love kids. They'd play with the customers' kids (babies). That shows how much they miss their children back home.


And just now, I asked Din about Muthu. Muthu is the bar tender for morning shift up to 8 pm. But it has been a while that I haven't seen him. When asked, Din said he had gone back to India. Oh, the contract has expired. And according to Muthu, Das now is in Singapore, working at mamak there, I think. They are not the only clan whom can be considered as 'friends' here. In fact, almost all the units in this row of the block treat us nicely. Uncle Daud, Ali shopping centre, Anura, Astaf CC and oh, except for mamak oldskul as we seldom lepak there. And all the mamak here call me 'Simran'. It started with Astaf fella la. At first I don't know who Simran is. According to that Astaf fella, Simran is the Indian actress. Or to be exact pretty Tamil actress. Okay, let's keep the 'pretty' part with me. Hahaha! And now, all the D.E fellas call me Simran. Who? I've done my google. *wutta?*


Oh, one more thing, there will be nobody to call me Simran after this. ;p

*I'd better get goin with my counseling therapies. but demam at this time? Gosh..

inquire -> hyphotesis -> preliminary diagnosis

it applies to all...

but it doesn't meet all sometimes. We are just a complicated piece with gazillions mysterious facets!

God, it's friggin cold in here!

quickie

Mode: exam + assignments.

Perasaan: reluctant. geram. kesal. kusut. bersalah. kelakar.

Tahap kesihatan: tak berapa baik.

Tahap kewangan: agak stabil

Tahap fizikal: ada orang kata saya dah gemuk sikit (tapi macam teruk sangat je. thank you, sayang. I love you nevertheless. More.)

Komen saya kepada semua situasi di atas:

macam harem~

Hari yang ditunggu: 30 April

*oh. ada sorang lagi the unresolved conflict! tunggu ye, anda. ;p (God, please!)

Hujan pula hari ini

Oh, hujan.

Hari ini aku rasa sangat mandom.

Mengantuk. Malam tadi menyiapkan final draft AE yang renyah tu. Oh~

Nak kena study untuk dua killing papers hari Isnin nanti.



Wargh~ ngantuknye...


*rasa nak dengar lagu Lady GAGA.Pokerface*
*rasa nak pegi main kat arcade*

What now?

Good life is turning its back on me.

Not so good life is serving me right now.

SO not good life, indeed.

Currently, my life is like the dellicous U8Buttons butter cupcakes. It's nyummy, soft, and sweet. And oh, beautiful.

But at the end of the day, you'd get diarrhea out of it.

No, that cupcakes doen't give me that. It gives me the sweetness I'd never forget. Other things got me to 'diarrhea'. Ahamdulillah~

nak cupcake ini! *mengidam*

Her Wisdom

Having a thought of her brings me into grateful tears. I really really appreciate her on how much she has inspired me, touched my heart and moved me so much. She's beautiful. She is sincere. She has the utmost virtue as an educator. She is so passionate about teaching. She is oh, I just don't know how to define her. I just can't simply do it. I admire her for that. I am not being exagerrating here but what I feel for her is indescribable. And I'm glad that I got to tell her in person of how I feel about her yesterday. It is more than just that, actually.

I've talked about her in my older post and I want to talk about her still. Yesterday we had this so called final gathering for her class - CIE and Dr. Norshidah's class - PD. It made me sad by the thought of I won't get to listen to her anymore. I won't get the opportunities to know things that I don't know or don't realise, form her. I won't get to quote her words of wisdom. I won't get to see her again after this. I cried because I was touched by her. Not because we are at the end of the semester. Where has she been all these years? Or shall I ask myself - where have I been that I have never be in her class before? It is a little too late to be educated by her at this very final semester. Yes, I won't use the word 'teach' for her. She did more that just 'teach'. She educates us. She opens our hearts. My heart.

The first phrase from her that moved me so much and I 've been holding on to is,

"it takes more than just a heart for us to listen, to learn, to get things..it takes us soul..."

Yesterday, she told us about the education of the heart.

"catch the heart first then you capture the mind"

She also said,

"those who don't have humbleness won't get the wisdom of knowledge".

It is deep if you can see it with your heart. And it will be more meaningful if you can practise it through out your life. Just imagine how many words of wisdom she comes out with from her deep thought of life and knowledge evertytime she is in class. And I am just too greedy for them that I want to know and listen to them all.

And I'm happy to share her quotes with all of you as I wish everybody could get something meaningful from her.

Puan Rohaya Abd. Wahab.

credits to Siti Adibung. I got this picture from U8Buttons!

Not forgetting, Dr. Nosrhidah with her principle, "ilmu tanpa adab, kita takkan ke mana."

Oh, I love them both! They are bestfriends. What a great cute combination, I shall say!

I wish I could be like Puan Rohaya, the most beautiful human being I've ever met with her beautiful stances and philosophies. She's a humble great humanist to me. Thank you, Puan. It is an honor to be educated by you. =)

I want to be a teacher and I wish I could move my students the way she moved me. Ameen~

btw, this week is supposed to be a study leave. In the library, everyone is revising. But most of us are still assigment-ing. How marvelous! two Counselling papers in a day? The most marvelous one!

A life for a new life

I had the best goodnight sleep last night. Why? Becasue I was on pill (I didn't know panadol soluble gives me such effect - terrible flu produces terrible look of me). It has been like a week I did not sleep well, committing myself into papers and computer.

I feel dizzy. My eyes can barely open widely. It feels like the power of my spectacles is increasing. I mean, I don't wear one but I think that's how they feel when people with glass trying to see when they are not putting on one.

I slept so well last night that I had a dream. In my dream, I saw someone who I am not suppose to think of, I shall say. But the dream was not entirely about anybody. It is just a random picture. What is the sign, really? Or bak kata orang, mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur. But the good thing is, I did not have problem waking up this morning even though it was quite late. I did not have to struggle my eyelids to open for the 8.30 class.

btw, today is the last day of class - Current Issues in Education. Gosh, I couldn't believe that we're two weeks to graduating (needless to mention the assignemnts and projects to be rammed and submitted in relief). After 5 years being in this field, sometimes I question myself, what have I learnt? What am I going to do after this? How my life will look like? Suddenly all the plans and imaginations be it of yours alone or with the other half that have been muttered are now shuffled, changed and oh! Honestly, I don't know now. I just can't see it yet. My bigger picture? Yet to be seen either. Can you see yours? But I think I know things that I want to do about myself. So far, I do and am still sticking to it. Hopefully.

Gosh, this is amazing! Simply amazing. To leave a life that we have been living for 5 years and to start a new one...

prepared or not. scattered...the way it is.

It's touching, somehow. Next MPG?

Quizzes on Facebook

Quizzes on facebook are yes, too much and I shall say, overrated.

But I enjoy doing them when I got nothing better to do. Err..Or when I got lots of better things to do in which are my assignments, but I just refuse to do it. Teruknya. The ghost of diligence is yet to possess me. Well, I suppose the GMT is not right yet. (f*ck!). Btw, I'm the type who enjoys doing tagging, surveys and whatever you call it. Just for fun and okay, malas buat kerja.

The latest quiz I did was 'What Movie is Your Life?'

My life is the Footloose.

You have a rebellious side to you. You know exactly what you want out of life. You just want to have some fun, loosen up a bit and make everything on the other side of the fence "YOURS."

Another one that I like is 'What Type of Starbucks Drinks are You?'

I am the...

Mocha Frappuccino

You're smiley, outgoing, & always with friends. You're addicted to Starbucks & always getting something sweet, just like you :).

But i always go for caramel Macchiato! But I shall try other things next time.

Ouuuuh~ somebody! Please save me!

Elly! You should save yourself! This is what happen when we are all burnt OUT! (Last night I didn't sleep. I watched teh Curious Case of Benjamin Button) =)

*doing the ceremony to call the ghost and for the right GMT*

Saya berjanji. Saya akan buat dengan betul-betul tekun mulai hari ini malam ini.

I believe, everybody in my batch is going gila for these few weeks. Seronoknya! urrgh!

Sayonara

Yes, sailorBoy's ship just sailed off for Sodegaura, Chiba. I'll get him back on the phone (hopefully) on 10th April. And by the time he reach Bintulu again (that will be two weeks from now), I'm about to drown myself with the two killing papers in a day.

My oh my...

How fast the time goes by. I don't want to make it faster so that all these will over. I don't want it to be elongated either that we'd have more time to complete the assignments and projects. I want to SKIP it. So that we don't have to face it.

Impossible indeed.




this song is not dedicated to the loved ones or girlfriends and boyfriends. It is dedicated to all the assignments that my friends and I are struggling over now. Yes, we need to love our assignments. Or maybe pretend to love and befriends with them.

Ouhh..suddenly you're like a rocket in our minds and the posters. We couldn't stop thinking about you no matter how hard we tried!

GOOD LUCK me fellow friends! =

ALL THE BESTEST LUCKS IN THE WORLD~

TWO MONTHS AND COUNTING

Dear Princess,

It’s been two long months and hopefully just two more left before I can come home and see you for real. Everything seems to be moving so slow without your presence. Hearing your voice and the occasional video call once in a while helps ease the loneliness but it’s never enough without you near me.

I know that being apart is hard for you but trust me my dear that it’s hard for me too. Just hope that I’ll be home in two months and hopefully we’ll be able to celebrate your birthday on time this year. I’m looking forward to seeing you again princess.

Take care and I wish you all the best my dear, hope you finish all your assignments in time. Don’t push yourself too hard and be sure to get enough sleep. You don’t want your eyes looking like it’s been punch a hundred times.

This will do for now, till the day we can stare at each other eyes again. love you n missing u so so much.

Missing you always,

sailorboy

ex-Shopaholic and Shopaholics

Last night I went to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic (at last) with my girlfriends and a guyfriend).

Oh. My. God. It’s a fun movie. You can have the DVD and watch it over and over again! The soundtracks are good.

There are few scenes that are real – in which my girlfriends and I also have the same experience.

There was once, when my friend wanted to buy that last piece of owl printed t-shirt, but we were considering if she should get it. She picked it up and put it back – to think. Suddenly, after a second, another girl took it, analyzing it and had that “oh, I like it!” face with the t-shirt in her hand. We started to observe that girl and trail her, to see if she’s gonna buy it. Did she? I can’t recall, but I think she did. It was funny.

Watching this movie, in a number of 1 to 5 of a shopaholic, I would rank myself at number 3. I have the desire, but at most of the time, I don’t have the power (money).
Spending money is fun, it’s true. And to me it’s not only about spending it on clothes, high end stuffs, shoes and you name it. And the most important thing is, I don’t seriously go for the brands. That is not the crux of my spend-thrift issue.

Spending money on groceries, treating your friends, buying unnecessary stuffs are also fun. Even if it’s a small amount - as long as you call it ‘spending’. It’s some kind of a therapy. It makes me happy (when I got more than sufficient money). I’d simply spend RM3 on a slightly unnecessary vintage candle holder that I found in the house-décor store. I’d simply spend RM5 for the aromatherapy scents, RM10 for 3 head bands, RM0.99 for Giant socks, RM3 for cute pencils, RM6 for a curvaceous bottle, and etc. to come to think of it, how much I would’ve saved if I didn’t buy those stuffs. But on a second thought, it makes me happy especially when the cheap stuffs are useful to me. At least for that moment. Hehs.

I am so alert with “70%” and ‘SALE’ banners. Wherever I go, my eyes and heart are gravitated to it even though I’m not sure whether how cheap is their 70% off, or weather it is for purchase with purchase items. I think we should blame the marketing strategy on how they psychologically hypnoses our eyes and minds – by tagging RM5 in the RED tags when it is actually RM5 reduction from the real price.

I love shoes. I remember once, with my ex-boy, when we were walking in the mall, he would cover my eyes or distract my view from shoe stores. He’d do anything – using other paths, or point out other ‘more interesting’ places or shops. It is because, if I got to see them, plus, with that 70% labels or ‘SALE’, I’d go in, browsing, trying, walking in the shoes in the store with two possible solutions – buy it or don’t buy it. Thank God if I don’t. But sometimes, trying on clothes and shoes are fun too (when we don’t really have the money). It’s a girls’ thing, I should say.

It has been quite sometimes since my last shopping. The last spending I did was spending on a new big bottle of fruity body lotion when my other big bottle of Nivea is still half full, and a big bottle of shower gel. And oh, last night, (L) combo 2 TGV caramel popcorn when my tummy is still full of KFC snackplate and (L) cheesy wedges.

Btw...
I can’t wait for the sequel where Becky is married to droolingly charming Englishman (all British and Irish drool me), Luke Brandon! Hopefully they’ll have it!

Again, I have the strong desire, but I didn’t have the power. We better live within our means. But..it’s not a sin to spoil ourselves sometimes! Especially when you earn that money yourselves. I realized that I’d make a full use of the stuffs and appreciate it more when I bought them with my own pays – my dearly red Alice. None of my other shoes are as special as her. =)

And oh, I bumped into my exclassmate when we were in Form 3 last night. He was just out from the hall for Shopaholic and got frustrated for the sold out Fast and Furious. I was so excited seeing him there!

Mohd Hanif Che Husin..or Che Ha. Macam Kaer tak dia??

Next: Fast and Furious and Transformers 2. (oh, sangat tak sedar diri!)

Off being a loser

I have that pathetic sad face, when I'm sad, I shall say.

Before class, before I slipped in my feet into the slipper, I realised that the clothes I'm wearing was over-turned - the pocket is at the back. I realised it when I tried to look for the pocket to put my handphone. I needed to take off everything back and well, it's tedious after not having a good night sleep and you're kinda late for class. And sure I'd look stupid with the two pockets at the back.

After class, a friend told me, "Elly, ko nampak macam tak sihat je."
Yes, Izzat. pandai pun ko.

After class, a friend said 'I love you' (i'm not sure because I lend her my shoes or she really does..heheh).and gave me a hug. In which I really need one.
Thank you Siti Adib.

When I'm sad, or not in a good condition, or get out of order that is so visible on my face, everybody will notice it. I'd look extremely misarable, I suppose. I don't know how to hide it. And I don't know how to verbalize it.

All I can do is my lips fail to crack a smile, even to shape a flat alignment, in which strangers in the library will look at me and remind me to smile. My mind will go blur, wandering about what, I'm not sure. I'll have that empty loser look in my eyes. And my vocal cord is like clocked from producing any sound.

Today is my doom's day. With piles of workloads (lame-everybody that I know of is having the same thing), stupid pointless heart wrenching unhelpful argument with the other half, and crave for some fun and oh, escapism!

Mr. Time Machine, please stop the time. Or if you can't do it, could you please kindly elongate it? Or, just help me with my oh so pathetic emotion, that'll be fine.

p.s: Doraemoooooonnnn!