Fear

Hurmm..I went to the school that I had my practicum today regarding my AE.

Everything went well, even though I got to see the person that related to my AE at the very very last minute. I mean it was lucky of me to get to see her when I was losing hope and heading home (I didn't call the school first before I went there -my bad). But it was really a by-chance-event that she entered the office when I was walking away in vain. Puan Hashimah has been so busy this week that today, she went for a meeting somewhere outside the school with the Pengetua. That was why I couldn't see her at first. Lucky...i guess.

And, seeing all my stduents again is like the happiest moment for this week! Having myself in the school itself gives me the bliss! I don't know why. Looking at the stacks of exercise books on teachers' tables gave me a horror image of marking the books like I used to do last few months!

Still, I doubt my choice of becoming a teacher. It is such a big responsible. It is a seriously huge obligation to educate the future generation. Am I in that position?

What a bless!

Hurmm...alhamdulillah, thanks to God as my life has turned out to be good lately. I mean I've never felt this lucky in my life. I've never won any lucky draws, I've never got choosen for any auditions because I've never did any pun. Yes, due to my UNluckiness.

1. Just now. About 30 minutes back, I received a call from Nando's. I was entitled to win a free 1/4 chicken with that rice side order. So, that Nando's person asked me if I would like to add any more orders and they will deliver it to me. Whoa! I was so shocked and told that lady, I think more than three times that I didn't order anything from Nando's. Okay, she must be cursing me as I still didn't get it that I WAS ENTITLED for their promotion which is only for today and tomorrow. Oh, I am lucky.

2. And, last few months, I received a call telling me that I was shortlisted to win RM 300 for the Shell+Bonuslink competition. Oh, was I dreaming? Were you kidding me? Never in my life that I would think about winning things like this. Actually I've lost hope as I didn't get any cheque as they said that will be mailed to me. But last week, my mom called me that the cheque is there, in my hometown and she mailed it straigh away to me. And I did the rest. =)

3. I was chosen to be the MC for the seminar that will be held on next monday. I mean, my groupmates agreed to choose me. And I, taking the principle of "YES Man", would like to give it a shot. This is my first time being an MC for a big event like this and you beter wish me all the lucks in the world. It is kinda a challenge to me. =)

4. Oh, this one is not really a lucky one for me. But for the sake of being lucky, I think it is lucky that I was chosen for a "Panggilan Hangit" this morning. Someone called me saying that she found my file in front of the Balai Bomba at Section 15. All my details are in that file, that is how she got to call me and wanted to give my file back. Despite of the fact that I have never had any purple file in my life, I was so panick and well, yes, it is my file lah. That lady said maybe the file has 'tercicir'. Instead of me, going there to get my file, she said she knows where I stay and wishes to come to my place and give it back to me. Or, I could see Cikgu Husna from SMK BUkit Kuda. dang! That's the name! I've being punked by her! And by the way, this is not the Hot FM panggilan hangit. But she punked me by herself using another phone line!!!! Lucky me?? Yes, lucky. Being pranked is lucky for me as I am a cool people! Please get me in Bang Bang Boom or whatever pranking stuffs!

Nevertheless, being lucky for me is also a reminder for me of not to be so happy. When we were kids, when we were playing with so much fun, pushing and punching each other softly and giggles and what not, not long after that, one of us would cry or get hurt and quarrel. My mom always said back then, "ha...ni main-main macam ni ada yang nangis nanti kang.". Yes, memang ada yang cengeng pun sorang. This history is like an allegory that I hold on to. Or maybe not to some people. That there is something waiting for us in the middle of the happiness. It could be anything. It still happens to me now, somehow. Nonetheless, I take it as a pre-test from Him. Jadi, jangan hepi- hepi sangat. Ingat Allah. Berpada-pada.

=)

end of it

Seriously. It is a RELIEF.

Done with all the reviews.

I am so damn sleepy as I didn't sleep last night. Fell asleep at around 5.30 a.m and was waken up by the alarm on Selfish Jane at 6.15 for the sake of going to that boring CAiRex. Oh, there was only one talk given by this man from Iran (sorry, couldn't recall his name) that I think is the best.

Now, I am going home to claim my sleepless night.

Seriously. It is a relief. And damn sleepy...

Focus. None

sheesh!!!!

I lost my miracle last night! (err..like I have one). I was totally lost and clueless! Please God, forgive me for being such an idiot last night! I didn't know how to do the article review. Hallo~. Just summarize it and yet I still couldn't do it. Thanks to Eapa and Ili for their help. I mean moral support and understanding. And tunjuk ajar. Wuwuwuwu~ I was totally lost. It has been 4 years doing all these and last night was the worst night ever! Now, I've done the summary and pros and cons part. Only implications and recommendation left. Let it be there first. leave it for a while. I just can't focus for the moment. I've lost the mojo, I suppose!

and by the way, we have this CAiREX tomorrow. It is a career expo for undergraduates like us. We are in final semester yo! yeah, yeah..no more classes, no more assignments. except for those who want to furhter their MA right away. As for me, I'm planning to look for working experience first, which I am not sure what it will be *coughing*. Teaching, maybe. or, something else which is something else yet to be figured out. Hurmm...Just go with the flow as they say.

And yes, I have this announcement here especially for UiTM students in the main campus. We are part 8 students from 17 branch would like to invite you guys to this seminar, organized by our teamEMPOWERING THE MIND
Talk 1: the Power of Self reflection
talk 2: Unlocking the Mind and Heart

Date: Monday, March 02, 2009
Time: 08:00 a.m
Ticket Price: RM 0.00
Entertainment Duty Priceless
Venue: Dewan Kuliah B, Fakulti Kejuruteraan Mekanikal

*FREE FOOD for the first 200 to register!!
*Lucky Draw
*Perforamance by YUNA!!!

Contact :
Hasnaa +6012 671 4077
Syameer +6012 254 9120

I wish I could scan the ticket itself! It is rawks!

And oh, it was unethical for me that I forgot to give the credits to Marlisa, Sal and Kak Hana for the lovely logo and tickets. And the poster too! heheheh *wink*

the Ease of Burden

Gah. I'm done with one of the article reviews. Err..not actually did it. I recycled my semester 5's assignments and did some editting and additions here and there. wallaa~ alas, I can tell myself not to stressed up too much. It slightly eases the burden, really. Brilliant ideas always come to save us! Is this cheating? No, I don't think so. It is using the same topic for different purpose, different wordings, and different point of view. God bless me, please!

I just got back from seeing my AE supervisor and it was positive! *clap,clap*. But still I need to polish it here and there, do the editting and what not. Nevertheless, everything went smooth, and I shall start on doing the next stage. She's pushing me too much; which is good because I am way too slow as compared to her other supervisee. Te heee..yes, Ma'am!

Okay, okay. Off to top up my lit review ASAP (I have goldfish memory) and oh, maybe continue with my other long article review.

Chiao~

P.S : guess what

I didn’t sleep last night. Literally. I watched P.S: I Love You for how many times, I couldn’t count. (Missing sailorBoy so bad gives me the urge to watch this lovey dovey story). Surprisingly, it brings me into tears through out the lines, every single time I watched it even at the hundred and first, and put a grin on my face back at the end. I really really love this movie!

It is not the latest movie - published in 2007 if I'm not mistaken. sailorBoy told me about it. I first read the book and one day when he called me, I asked him what he was doing. He was watching P.S: I Love You. That rang a bell to me. I asked him who starring the movie, Hillary Swank and Gerard Butler. Oooow! Gerard Butler! He’s one of my favorite hunkmen since I watch 300. I love his accent. Thank you love, for I didn’t miss this beautiful movie. And I think this is one of our things =)

It is such a beautiful story. For the first 30 minutes, I would wet the blanket, t-shirt or anything that could wipe my tears, sobbing like a kid lost a mother in a mall. I know I might sound sissy. It is so poignant. So lovely. It is full of love. It is about loving someone oh so tenderly. Is there still a man who loves a woman that way in this universe? It is like a sacred love. It is beautiful. It is so beautiful of how Jerry arranged and worked out everything. (for those who have never watched it, I have no intention to tell you the rest. You got to watch it to feel it). Ireland is so beautiful and Irish men are so _____!. And Epifah, you got to watch it! It is like a surviving kit when you miss your Hunny but he’s not around (later), but in a different way. It’ll somehow motivate us not to be so driven by our forlorn feeling of missing someone so bad.

But I’d love to be someone’s Holly.
But I think I’ve got my Jerry, tho.
Now I know where he learnt all the stuffs.
Or maybe some of them *wink* .

Holly worships shoes second after Jerry, and so do I. she managed to design her own lines and open a store. It gives a spurt of idea to me on taking a class on designing shoes. As I am fickle, I doubt that teaching is not necessarily my option now, for god sake!

And sayang, now I got it when you said you love the last part thing. Its not the last last kan? its the last one kan?Not Daniel. I just got it last night. Yes, I noticed it just they way you told me. I should have noticed it when I watched the movie at hundredth time, I know.

p.s: I love you.
And I love the song by Nellie Mckay. And by the Pouges =)

And oh, I didn't know that the poladroid can go out of cartridge!

See, how persistent I could be when it comes to not doing the assignments. I'm pretty sure this is because of the GMT! I was almost getting it right. Unfortunately, it was just a false alarm, I suppose. Crap!

Ya Tuhan!

aku sedar aku ada article reviews yang perlu disiapkan. tapi malam tadi, di masa kelapangan, aku start baca buku cerita "Where the Heart Is" yang aku pinjam dari Ili. memang tak sedar diri.

lepas lunch tadi, kononnya nak start buat article reviews, tapi aku pergi main Poladroid pulak dah in lieu. tapi aku sempat la edit-edit article review yang satu lagi yang aku dah siapkan awal dulu. tambah-tambah points saje.

tapi poladroid ni memang best la. thanks to Ili sebab perkenalkan menda ni. dia adik-beradik photo editors la jugak tapi tidak lah secomplicated Adobe. lagipun, application dia tidaklah sebanyak Adobe ataupun Photoscape. it is far from that! tapi ia sangat cool dan cute! aku bukanlah fanatik dengan benda-benda cute ni. tapi dia memang cute la. bunyiknya, bentuknya yang macam ala-ala polaroid camera tu.

ini je dia bendanya. polaroid yang ada pink ribbon tu dah siap. yang takda tu belum lagi. dia macam polaroid betul tu, kena tunggu dia developed dulu. cool!!!

yang ni pulak hasil gabungan photoscape and poladroid. mula-mula aku guna photoscape. lepas tu baru buat guna poladroid.

hurrmm..aku ni, macam kanak-kanak je. kerja tak siap. tapi duk main-main benda-benda alah ni pula. Tolong.

PROCRASTINATION sangat in sekarang!

silver lining in the cloud

despite averything, yesterday's presentation on PPSMI was the best presentation I've ever had! it's not because I did my best, but well, I think I did since I wasn't as nervous as I usually felt for past past presentation. It is because of the cool audiences!

I'd like to thanks all the classmates who attended the class yesterday. You guys were awesome!!! the discussion was so interesting and I would say it did get someone's nerves on!! haha!! cool!! the crux of the problem is not about the preservation of the language. we are all aware about it. people fuss about it because of the students' result in M&S that is claimed getting worse due to the failure in delivering and understanding the concept of Math and Science. but I think, there's no need for me to write about PPSMI here as I'm sure there are tons of articles and arguments on air.

but personally, I think, PPSMI should not be reversed. It should be continued. it is still too early to judge the outcomes. we are still in the trial and error mode. stop being so happy in our comfort zone. try to be competetive in lieu. the problem about reversing it, no, I'm pretty sure that the government won't do it. it'll cost thousand ringgit of lost. the perfect way is to tackle the problems from many angles and to improve from there. not to abolish it.yes, it will take like a decade from now to see the success. bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. jangan kearna marahkan nyamuk seekor, satu kelambu habis dibakar (Pn. Rohaya, 2009).

yes, there were some mistakes done in the first place before PPSMI was implemented. but what can we do about the past? those are the things that can't be undone. focus on here and now, about current problems. not pointing fingers. insyaAllah, everything is going to be fine.



yeah, we love to dress up for any presentations!

chiao!! *still sick*

p.s: sad because everything becomes politics nowadays. education and kids too?

not a so good week..or weekend

1. i got 2-3 article reviews need to be submitted next week.(still searching for the articles)

2. i got a basket of laundry to do.(it was empty; and will be filled happily when it is empty)

3. i got no sufficient money to spend on laundry shop.( need to bajet)

4. i miss my mom a lot.(but she's far)

5. i miss my cats.(i want to play with the new babies)

6. i miss my sailorBoy.(oh damn muchos!)

7. i got this one wedges from vincci that i fell in love with..but again,
refer to #3. it is related. (thanks to Adib).

and above of all, currently i am sick! God must be testing me. alhamdulillah...

:'(



p.s: all i wanna do now is watching TV with sailorBoy while munching Rocky.

:'(

bukan paling indah

hari ini bukanlah hari yang paling indah dalam hidup aku.

1. awal-awal pagi lagi aku dah kene selsema (actually sejak malam semalam). belum apa-apa, habis dah smudge eye liner dek kerana mata berair akibat bersin tanpa henti. itu belum pergi ke kelas lagi tu. disebabkan tak tahan, aku decided nak makan juga Zyrtec. tapi perut kosong la pulak. so aku cari la makanan kat dapur. ada roti. tapi takkan nak makan kosong je. oh, aku jumpa coki-coki. jadi, aku spreadkan lah coki-coku duo ke atas roti dan makan. terus aku makan zyrtec. baru lah ok sikit.

2. tapi, kelas agak best hari ni sebab belajar J CROSS.

3. tapi, kapal sailorBoy keluar dari Bintulu hari ni. beliau akan menuju ke Chita, jepun. isk. dijangkakan 3 Mac baru masuk balik ke Bintulu. lambat lagi. tapi nasib baik lagi seminggu beliau boleh contact aku dari Jepun melalui sms dan juga telefon awam yang disediakan dalam kapal itu. (fyi, there is only one phone to cater almost 30 - 40 people. how's that?!). jawabnya, beliau kena tunggu turn la. kesian kami.

basically, Rabu adalah hari yang agak packed bagi aku. class pukul 8.30a.m-10.30a.m, 2.10p.m-5.00p.m dan 8.00p.m-10p.m. berbanding dengan hari Selasa, pukul 11.30a.m - 12.30a.m sahaja dan Khanis, 8.30a.m-10.30a.m sahaja. oh, aku ada presentation untuk kelas esok. entah cukup entah tidak ilmu yang ada ni untuk disampaikan kepada rakan sekelas esok.

baik aku balik sekarang, masak untuk lunch, dan bersiap untuk ke kelas seterusnya. sekian.

p.s: I miss sailorBoy already.

je l'aime

I am at the top of the world when he's with me!

I can't feel any better.

even though it is just via the phone and video calls.
even though i think the phone that i lost gives better reception while video calling (i mean the camera) than this one.

gosh i want my old phone back!!!!

anyways,

je t'aime, mon bonheur...

- votre douceur-

*pardon my rusty french. it has been years*

oxygen

thank god it is raining outside. at least, I could breathe in some fresh air. oh no. the rain is also polluted nowadays. needless to mention, the air. I'm not sure if we're having fog here in Shah Alam. every time I inhale, i feel like entering smokes into my lungs. shit man! even last night, in my room, I couldn't sleep. it was so heaty and seriously, I felt like inhaling more than just the oxygen. it was polluted oxygen for heaven sake!I could barely breathe. I hope the rain would ventilate the atmosphere at least for today. now, i'm having a mild soar throat that is so irritating. and I feel sick. and the weather is so hot that I can barely open my eyes widely. no, I am not whining about God's creation. I am just telling.

it is not surprising that I once worried about my children (in the future). my worst fear was letting my children breathe in the polluted air. as an adult, it is suffering enough. what about a child??? people say I was crazy having that thought. no, we have to think about it. it is germane. as the time goes by, the air pollution might get worse. I think I am half-environmentalist. hehs.

p.s: sayang, your ship transports methane. it can cause global warming.
si mal! :P

words of wisdom

they love you, but they are not your lover...

they care for you, but they are not from your family...

they are ready to share your pain but they are not in your blood relation...

they are...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S...



true friend scolds like a Dad!
cares like a Mom!
teases like a Sister!
irritates like a Brother!

and finally loves you more than a lover.

do you know the relation between your two eyes?

they blink together, cry together,
see things together, and sleep together.
though they never see each other, friendship should be just like that.

life is HELL without friends.

*my friend sent this to me last night and i'd love to share it with all...*

p.s: gambar: curik Juraimi punyer.. =P

height

hah! I have this fetish about being tall like no others. I mean tall lah. not extraordinarily tall. I even feel inferior and yes, envy with if I see someone (woman) who is taller than I am. but of course with the appropritae proportion. with the right frame, size of hip, waist and bust. not tall like olivia, the popeye the sailorman's wife.



I am 167 cm or 5'5". for Asian girl, I think that is tall enough. but curse me for this as I wish to be taller maybe up to 5'6"? that would be like 2 cm taller is it?? i know someone won't like this.*hint*hint*. and, of course with not so huge frame or it'll look like a giant. gosh. that would be crazy! so better be grateful with this height lah kan.

but today, due to the assimilation of races and maybe diets, people go taller and taller at certain age. when I was having my practicum, my students are way taller than I am.



the study above was recorded in 1996 by wikipedia. now it is 2009. there have been so much changes and differences in everything.

btw, here's the culculation for your heights. example given is 167c.m.

1 inch = 2.54 cm

Therefore, using a proportion we can get:

1 inch / 2.54 cm = x inches / 167 cm

Now, cross multiply to get x alone and get:

2.54x = 167

x = 65.7 inches.

FINAL ANSWER: 65.7 inches

Source(s):
College Calculus Student ; Math Tutor

yes, i am no maths person. =)

and no, i am not ungrateful of what I have now. it is just a leisure wasteful wish. ;p

birthday wish: EPIFAH

i've wished her yesterday and i want to wish her again...



happy 22nd birthday to EPIFAH !!!!

p.s: kan saya dah kata, saya ada ramai kenalan yang birthady dia jatuh dalam bulan february. 11th hari tu, birthday Ms. Riqa.

p.s.s: hurrmm.. terasa nak makan kek pulak.

and to sailorBoy, if you happen to read this, know that I love you muchos! =)

upin dan ipin

yesterday a.k.a valentine's day, we (my sister and her husband and the two kids and I) went to one utama to watch GENG: PENGEMBARAAN BERMULA.
the movie was A for AWESOME! the quality of the 3D is at teh same par of the Hollywood 3D. that is in my POV. you guys should watch it for yourself and see smoothness of the animation. put aside the logical and illogical story line because hey, it is a kid's story. cartoon. no limits when it comes to the imagination. the in things to be pointed at here is the quality. go watch yourself and feel it.

and, yesterday, it was a coincidence that the upin ipin mascots were there, together with the voice overs crew and the La's Copac team. there was a big big promotion going on. I think it was worth calling GSC and TGV hundred times for the reservation (i had problems with booking onine). but, there were kids who cried upon looking at the giant upin ipin. yes, my nephew joined the team. he was crying and hiding behind the banner where all the voice overs sat to sign their photographs. we were looking for him and he refused to show up. plus, during our show (3.20p.m), ipin went to the hall and opened the hall for the viewers so, you imagine lah how the hell that boy cried and didn't want to look at the giant ipin who was walking beside me.

I think some kids do got freak out when they see the cutelittle upin ipin transformed into a giant big head upin ipin. it was kinda scary tho. it is supposed to be cute and little. and man, it is a mascot! nobody to be blamed! overall, it was funny that kids were afraid of the characters they have been acting out everyday, watch every day, and cried for their stuffs. ironic!


can you see how gigantic upin has grown??



and there was a connetto free give away at O.U. so vday...

the education

well, we have an appoinment and mrs. supervisor was not in her room. *sigh*

I waited for about half an hour and not to forget, I rushed there so that I won't reach there on time. I want to be there by the time because I don't believe in what people say, "janji Melayu". I am not that type. even though sometimes I do come late to classes, but when time has been set as in a pledge, appointment, promise etc, I would try my best to be there by the time or at least on time, sharp. but of course there would be something comes out when we did not expect it like traffic jams or yang sewaktu dengannye. but that is uncontrollable. our ethics is controllable. and by the way, what the hell I am blabbering here whilst I want to talk about something else? but nevermind, that is one good point to ponder upon tho. and in fact I am not angry with Mrs. Supervisor.

but, when she said in her text message:

"meeting at 3"

does it mean that she will be having a meeting at 3? or she's okay to meet me at 3?

because before that I texted her:

"salam, puan. can I see you around 3 this evening? are you available?"
and then she replied me,after a few hours, "meeting at 3". my reply was, "ok. tq puan. see you".

okay, if she's having a meeting at 3, once she received my reply, she would have told me that no, I can't see her, she has a meeting. but she did not reply me back after that. did I misinterpret her message?? I think I did. Because just now, I went down to see my classmate to get the thumbdrive I lent her. and she said my supervisor is having a like a meeting in the other lecturer's room. aiyaiyaiyai! and she said my supervisor looked some how kinda busy and going to a seminar, I don't know. so technically, there was actually no appointment!

since the new semester reopened, I haven't seen her for consultation to show my progress. but when I want to show it, she was not there. I know that is my fault.
but i am kind of upset as I need to get approved as soon as possible so that I could finish my case study by the time I graduated. I don't want to extend for one more semester merely because of this tideous acedemic exercise.

*jump*

about my research, I am doing a topic on co-curricular activities in Malaysian school. how co-curricular activitirs help in producing holistic individuals as aimed by the ministry of education. many parents today, that I know of, do not really encourage their children to get involved in co-curricular activities in school. they are against this in issues of financial, time for academic, and the children time to rest. as in schools, some teachers do not take co-curricular activities seriously as they are so busy with other works that you know, teachers nowadays are not just teaching. they have to do paperworks, kursus, and what not. and even though there are time provided by school specifically for co-curricular activities, teachers are yet to take actions. I am yet into real world of teaching profession. my 3 months of teaching practicum is not sufficient for me to talk more about this. even though through out my teaching experience, I would say yes, teachers got lots of works to do. for the morning session where school ends at 1pm or 2pm, sometimes teachers need to stay back to complete the report cards, the co-curriculum cards, perparing the exam papers, the PIBG paperworks, preparing for tomorrow lessons and what not. that is so much tiring. but I remember one of the teacher in the school where I was assigned, she was a former Bank officer. after a few years working at the bank, she couldn't stand the work pressure and sort of. she then applied for the KPLI and now has been teaching for about 2-3 years. and she told me, "teaching is the less-stressful job you can have. if you think teaching is tiring, I think working at the bank is worse". I came into the conclusion in which, I would say, teaching profession is no easy task like many people would clarify, it is as challenging as other professions. it is challenging. but it is more trickier as it deals with humans, not machine. it plays with the human's psychology and attitudes and emotions, in which I think is so damn tideous!

and by the way, my point is about the co-curricular activities. I think in order to produce a holistic individual, co-curricular activities is vital as we do not learn surviving skills in the classroom, in our curriculum. it is needed as an additional input for the students' interpersonal skills and also the intrapersonal. in the classroom, the things that we learn is merely on books, theories, and a minor input of practicality. as in co-curricular activities, we got the chance to go for a camping, having an events and what not, you name it from your own experience. we mingle with the whole school members, not only our classmates. it helps in boosting our self-confidence and teaching us to have a good interpersonal skills.
about time constrain, by having both curricular and co-curricular activites, students will learn to manage their time carefully. tution?? that is the thing that I think hinders all these from happening. parents are fostering too much on the academic that schooling hours are just not enough. it is like they want them to sleep books, eat books, dream books, talk books and all books. oh, this is the other thing that i would like to ponder upon. later.

what about the students who are bright, have brilliant ideas, so genius but he/she doesn't have the interpersonal and the intrapersonal skills that they can obtain from the so called tiring-wasting money-useless- co-curricular activites? we are too exam-oriented that everything is measured by examinations. it is expected that we have a brain like a super-computer that can keeps and memorizes everything. but computer is emotionless, feelingless. it is nothing but an intelligent machine. compare book-smarts and street-smarts. i'd rather be a street-smart with a book in hand. you got my point, i suppose.

actually I am pro co-curricular activities in school and get upset when i read the email sent by a mother in the star online (click). it is not that I choose co-curricular activities over curriculum. but I think that co-curricular activities are as a complementary to the system. we can not abolish it as a whole. we can have an optimum time for that students need to have not only materials to be written in the examination papers, but also for their life time preparations.

for more points, go to

idea

it seems like educational issues is my team mate now. next, I'm having a presentation for my current issues in education class. PPSMI is the topic. to be honest, the system now is a MESS.

relief

me lord...those crabby pabby feelings i've been going through was actually the PMS symptoms, i pressume. ngeh ngeh. :P

by the way, thank god that i managed to reka-reka questionnaires for my research proposal. am going to hand it in to my supervisor at 3 after this. it has been like a friggin year efforts, i think. i mean the proposal. been working on it since my practicum last semester and still doing it (i think July last year). *vomit*! met the supervisor once, and went home to tweet it here and there. and finally for my second appointment sat lagi. it is delayed due to my laziness and err..maybe, reluctance. keep it short, i'm done with the whole proposal, technically. alhamdulillah. executing the proposal is my project, next. daymn!.

and, i have a good feeling about our seminar that will be on 2nd march, 2009.

ehemm..hemm!

attention to readers who's staying/studying in the main camp UiTM, feel free to attend the seminar on ESQ at Dewan Kuliah, Bangunan Sains & Technology, UiTM. the topic is "Empowering the Mind", at 8.00a.m.

and, we have a special guest on that day!!! *yet to be revealed* ;p

one more day..maybe.

sheesh!!

i can't wait to get my sailorBoy on the phone!!
it has been two friggin weeks!

oh, how i wish i had Doraemon as my pet!

and by the way, i don't get it. why is it this new posting does not show the font siz and colors??? or is it mine only? or it has the mental illness like i am having now? *wonder*

ok. off to my ethics in COUNSELING class!!

so ironic. i am studying counseling as my minor and i am like this?

my mental illness

hurrmm..i've started like keeping a diary here. whenever i feel like saying something, i feel like writing it here. even when i was having my bath, i'd monologue and thingking about writing it here...it is just that i lost most of my thoughts/points before i got to the library and get myself online.

i feel like i am nowhere in the league. i feel like i do not belong here. not anywhere, in where i am now. i am not saying that life is unfair. i always think that Allah has made us to our best - with shortcomes and the best traits that we have, so it is said. however, my life has become like a total mess lately. i mean, my emotion, my thought and my everything. i do not know what is wrong with me. i know it is me, not because of others. i am aware that we know ourselves best. but not to me lately. even worse, sometimes i feel like i am nothing. nobody. no nothing. i know that that is a bad feeling someone should have about oneself. that is pathetic. yes, that is me. i am pathetic.


by the way, i want to stop giving unneccassery hatred. no. hatred is a strong word. dislike. i want to stop giving uneccassery dislike to people or anything. i want to be ignorant. haha! that is why i do not like myself now. but people, i would like to justify here that i am a good person, good as in i don't harm others in any ways - emotionally, physically, spiritually and all the ly(s). i am no mean girls and am in no way to match them. i am not the b*tch like (but some b*tches are good. tehy are good at heart. it is just a term, i suppose. i don't know). but i like my old self much more better. maybe it is because i feel that i became like i am now and i hate it. gosh! gila!!! i built that negative aura in me. or maybe it is because i don't have enough positive aura anymore. oh lord! what is this?! some how, i hope that i don't spread the negativity that i might have in me to people around me. i have no intention to do so. not at all. i swear. i have a good heart :P

i love to make people happy, feel good about themselves, feel like they are noticed by me as an individual whether they like it or not, whether they care if i don't. i love making love. i mean make people happy and have a good rapport with them. that is what i wish and like to do. but to be realistic, nothing is perfect. so who cares. do things that is within your hands. or your grabs.

p.s: i miss sailorBoy :(
he'd know what he needs to do or I have to do whenever i have mental illness like this.

sepetang di pejabat pos

mari kita mulakan hari ini dengan cerita test counseling saya.

test berjalan dengan baik, walaupun ada dua tiga soalan yang dirembat sahaja tadi. tapi, overall, saya puas hati dengan usaha saya dan juga teman seperjuangan saya, Eapa kerana (esp. aku la), kerana kami takdela blur sangat masa test kami. sebab apa? sebabnya semalam dan pagi tadi kami belajar!

habis test, terus saya pergi ke pejabat pos untuk mengepos barang kepada sailorBoy. barang apa?? itu rahsia la. tapi punyala lama tunggu giliran di pejabat pos tu. ada la dalam satu jam. masa duk menunggu giliran tu, saya seronok je melihat orang yang memegang buku akun ASB atau TING! mereka. ya lah. mereka menyimpan. aku pun ada akaun ASB. tapi aku tak menyimpan pun. bayangkanlah dalam masa beberapa tahun lagi, berapa banyak mereka berjaya kumpulkan?? kalau sekali simpan dari duit gaji mereka dah RM 100- 200, tidakkah banyak pulangannya nanti??? hurmm... menabung ini penting. tapi saya telah berhenti menabung sejak tabugan syiling saya di'pow' oleh adik saya sedikit demi sedikit sampai beliau pun tidak merasa yang ebliau menge'pow'. alangkah baiknya adik saya itu tau.

baiklah, dengan ini, saya bernekad. ingin mencari semula buku akaun ASB saya (mungkin ada di kampung) dan mungkin akan mula menabung sedikit demi sedikit dari duit gaji (bakanl gaji) yang bakal diterima nanti apabila saya bekerja kelak. amin... by the way, saya mungkin akan mencuba nasib untuk menjadi guru. kelak saya akan mengisi borang 'posting' ok?

public holiday tapi tak holidaying

hallo people!!!

it is public holiday today!
yeah, it should have been better if i could go out, lepaking with my friends, jalan-jalan, or beriadah, berdating which is so unlikely to happen or anything lah today. it is public holiday, people!

but what can i do? i need to study for my test tomorrow. it is a family counseling test. i need to stuck myself with the textbook. especially for this lecturer's subject. i've never excelled in her paper! gosh! i just can believe it. what is it so hard about her paper that everybody else can excel but not me eh???
hahahaha! when comes to think about it, it is kinda funny tho.

last night i slept damn early. around 10 or so. i got home from my sister no. 2's house by my cousin. i had been so sleepy since maghrib. or maybe since last two nights. there i was, on my bed at 10 or so, sleeping until this morning at 7.30. i did the laundry, sitting at my desk, staring at the textbook, i repeat, starring. i just flipped through to see the subtopics from chapter 1 to 3 that will be covered in the test tomorrow. stare and flip through..is that all i can do?? yes, people. i am always like that. sometimes the aura for study just don't come. i need to wait for a ghost named "determination" and "diligent" to posses me. then i'd be okay for that specific time. it comes and goes tho. why can't it just stay in me? so that i can excel! YEAY!

and now, i am still online, waiting for that ghost to come. by right, it should have came after i'm done with all these online thingy. it always work on me. i mean, most of the time when the GMT is good.

by the way, i LOVE breakfast-dating!!! out of all spending time together time (?), breakfast is the toppest in the top list of my dating activities. oh, i love having breakfast with my partner. i miss my sailorBoy...

i am...

I'm trying to spread more positive aura so that I'd feel good everyday. because it does make people feel good, vice versa. and it DID to me.

i love myself of few years ago. more when i was in school. i realised that i feel that my life was so easy as compared to present because, i think because i channelled more positive aura to people around me, every second of my life. and i was so happy doing that. but now, i don't know why. people make me feel not good (not exactly bad), oh, people make me feel so much inadequate in so many ways that sometimes i myself do not see the best thing that i have or good (realize it or not). entahla. to be honest, i don't really like myself now. i mean at most of the time. i love my old self. haiseh. patutnya dah makin dewasa makin pandai handle all this inner stuffs. i am inadequate, i know and so much aware of it. but do i need to feel so much doomed because of that? anyway, my point is, how am i going to have a big bubble of positive aura to share with people around me as i myself do not posses one? or maybe i do but it is not enough...no positive aura is given to me to top-up mine. maybe??? but it is in me. it depends on merely me. kan?

"welcome to the REALity..."

that's what everybody would say...

what ever it is, i love my old self more...

*emotional*

my friend's birthday!

yeay, today is Bobo's 23rd birthday!!! he's real name is Mohd Izzat bin Abd. Rahman. ramai kawan-kawan aku yang hari dilahirkan dalam bulan February ye.

happy birthday to you...

happy birthday to you...

happy birthday to BOBO....
happy birthday to you...

nah nah..tiup lilin ni Bo. tadi aku dah bagi kacang free dari Halim kan?? hehehe...

hurrmm...hari ni agak hectic buat aku. class awal-awal pagi lagi. pukul 8.30 class current issues in education yang mana pagi tadi aku telah melakukan serkap jarang yang tepat ketika menjawab soalan lecturer. hahaha!!! (aku tend to cakap banyak kalau mengantuk dalam class sometimes jadi merapu). lepas tu, ada class pukul 11.30 pulak. iaiatu family counseling. ye, aku minor in counseling. sejam je class tadi. tapi lepas tu, aku bertugas untuk menjana kewangan bagi seminar class Professional Development kami. kami (Hiezel, Darina, Sheila dan aku) bertugas setiap hari khamis. kami di bawah biro 'program and protocol' untuk seminar misteri yang bakal kami anjurkan nanti. jeng jeng jeng!

inilah cik Hiezel yang gebu!

ini pulak cik Darina kite..

ini kami main jual-jual...

tapi sebelum semua ini, kami (Eapa, Ili dan aku) telah singgah ke canteen baru kami yang sangat suci putihnya sebelum masuk class pukul 8.30a.m tadi. disebabkan cantik dan baru sangat canteen/cafe itu, kami pun ambil la gambar kenangan. maklumla, kami dah kat sini sejak 3 1/2 tahun dulu, mana ada cafe tu cantik macam ni...so excited!

by the way, my phone battery can last for 3 days without charging now. if you know what i mean.

and, i have this CALL assignment that anytime from now pun boleh buat everytime pergi library. tapi tak buat-buat pun.

bagusnye la~

saya ditag oleh Epifah

1. Copy badge “2008 Cute’s 3logger Award” di atas untuk diletakkan di blog anda.
-dah

2. Link/ceritakan kembali siapa yang memberikan award ini kepada anda.-
- ini Epifah punya kerja la..saya pula gatal je nak buat.. beliau seorang yang bijaksana. saya kagum dengan beliau. beliau cantik, sweet, kelakar jugak. beliau COOL~

3. Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnye (anda di-tag).

1. saya seorang student

2. saya suka pengetahuan am. tapi saya jarang baca akhbar

3. saya skema (kadang-kadang)

4. saya tak pandai berenang

5. saya takut akan ketinggian dan kelajuan yang melampau.

6. saya tak cute

7. (tapi) saya rasa saya juga cantik dan seksi. is that too vain???

8. saya perasan (refer to the previous statement)

9. saya suka makan

10. (tapi) badan saya lambat naik. berat je naik dulu

*nak tambah satu lagi boleh?? BOLEH!

11. saya takut lelabah. sebenarnya saya geli kumbang baik besar atau kecik.


4. Anda perlu memilih 5 penerima award seterusnye dan menyatakan nama mereka di blog anda.
- saya takmau tag orang sebab orang takkan buat dan itu akan mengecewakan saya :(

5. Jangan lupe melawat blog kawan anda dan meninggalkan komen yang menyatakan mereka telah ditag.
- ulang suara. saya tak mengetag orang (kali ni)

fruit trifle recipe..

okay people, i've told you guys about sharing this recipe kan..

here it is..

bahan-bahannye:

1 kek gulung (swiss roll)
1 tin fruit coctail
5 sudu besar tepung kastad
5 sudu besar gula (tapi jangan penuh sangat for every scoop tu)
2 cawan air
1 cawan susu cair

1packet crystal jelly yang clear (nak yang ada flavour pun boleh)

cara-caranye:

1. potong swiss roll macam kita nak makan tu. slice it. ketebalan ikut suka hati. susun dalam bekas yang kita nak hidang nanti. seeloknya bekas itu bekas kaca atau bekas yang transparent lah. so bila siap, nampak kecantikan layer dia. and bekas, janagn yang macam mangkuk. bagi dia staraight je dari atas ke bawah. baru la balance layer dia ok.

2. dalam periuk, gaulkan tepung kastad, gula, air and susu cair. gaul je bagi dia sebati dulu. letak atas dapur dengan api yang kecil sahaja ok. kacau, jangan tinggal-tinggal pegi tengok tv pulak. kacau sampai dia agak likat. sampai kastad tu masak la.

3. tuangkan kastad ke atas swiss roll yang telah disusun tadi. bagi jadik macam layer tu tutup la swiss roll tu. bila kastad tu sejuk, dia akan keras sendiri. kalau tak keras jugak, jawabnya masa buat kastad tadi terlebih air la. so agak-agakla air tu nanti ek.

4. bila kastad dah mengeras, tuangkan fruit coctail. tapi juice dia takyah amik takpe. amik buah dia je.

5.lepas tu, tuangkan crystal jelly yang dah diamasak mengikut arahan dari kotak dia. lepas tu sejukkan dalam peti sejuk. dia sedap dimakan time sejuk-sejuk. nak lagi best, masa makan, taruk ais krim atas dia. siap!!~

inila rupa dia lebih kurang. i used strawberry flavoured jelly cuz tak jumpa yang plain

senang saje kan. dalam masa 15- 2o minit pun bolah siap. i've tried it and my friends loike it! :)

selamat mencuba :)

we are picnic people

yeay..we had a great time at our birthday picnic yesterday!!!!

the birthday girl..Eapa. naaaaah~...she's pretty, funny, stylo, cool, cute, caring, loving and...she is my deaaaaaaresst friend!! :)

us, walking, looking for the best spot for picnic...

we saw a perfect spot!!! so we set up the place with table cloth, and fooooooods! waaaalah~

while waiting for Aten and her boyfriend, we snapped snapped a few poses...crazy poses...

and "searcing for my sailorBoy" pose. of course he was not there..that is a lake. he is in the sea ;p

yes, it is a birthday cake!!! we sang the birthday song happily..and she blew the candles!!!

eating time!!...

suddenly it rained...so we had to run for shelter. there was a pondok nearby and there we settlled until the end of the party...

but the joy did not end there. we had games..err..ok la..game la konon-konon..it was ambik gambar mengikut character yang diberitahu oleh photographer...

acara menggaru ketiak....yes, we are tak tau malu..to be exact, COOL... B)

menjadi Fei Mau...tapi tak jadi cuz Aten buat Fei Mau ketawa tak jadi..so we all laughed!

haaaiiiyaaak~~! kung fu babes!...

and, we saw tortoises in the lake...we fed them and there were lots coming... I was so excited and decided to go down there to be closer to the tortoises...i love animals!

around 7, we all balik....with a happy tummy, smile, and happy feeling.

the place is so beautiful!!! good for a family picnic or any activities.

it is at taman tasik Shah Alam. opposite the PKNS :)

gasp!

gosh..about the previous post. it was posted by sailorBoy before his ship sailed out from Bintulu off to Futsu. Eapa told me that she has read it and I couldn't stop myself from stalking her about it..wuwuwuwu..gosh..I don't know what to say. he is not here anymore. and I can't tell him how I feel upon his sweet note he left me.

I was in my sister's place in PJ last weekend that I couldn't go online. and by the way, my sailorBoy asked me a favour. he wants me to update my blog everyday so that when he reaches Bintulu in every two weeks, he got to know how i am doing by reading it. okay boy. i'll try my best (i am kind of lazy to update).

lompat...

today is my cutest most stylist friend's 22nd birthday!!!! it is EAPA's birthday. let me sing a birthday song for you once again...

happy birthday to you...

happy birthday to you...

happy birthday to Eapa...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...~

I wish you a very happiest memorable birthday picnic ever my dear. I LOVE YOU. may Allah bless you and good fortunes ahead!

I made trifle for our picnic this evening (hopefully it is not raining this evening). the recipe?? I'll share with you guys later kay! :) and of course with the picnic pictures!

back to real my real life...

lately I feel that I have started the engine for classes! ha? okay..I know. some of you people have already reached the first checkpoint, maybe. and I just started the journey kan?? good for you guys! and good for us!...

...err..even though i spent most of the time eating at my sister's place last weekend...

that is one of two fat rich filling sandwiches that i had...