i am...

I'm trying to spread more positive aura so that I'd feel good everyday. because it does make people feel good, vice versa. and it DID to me.

i love myself of few years ago. more when i was in school. i realised that i feel that my life was so easy as compared to present because, i think because i channelled more positive aura to people around me, every second of my life. and i was so happy doing that. but now, i don't know why. people make me feel not good (not exactly bad), oh, people make me feel so much inadequate in so many ways that sometimes i myself do not see the best thing that i have or good (realize it or not). entahla. to be honest, i don't really like myself now. i mean at most of the time. i love my old self. haiseh. patutnya dah makin dewasa makin pandai handle all this inner stuffs. i am inadequate, i know and so much aware of it. but do i need to feel so much doomed because of that? anyway, my point is, how am i going to have a big bubble of positive aura to share with people around me as i myself do not posses one? or maybe i do but it is not enough...no positive aura is given to me to top-up mine. maybe??? but it is in me. it depends on merely me. kan?

"welcome to the REALity..."

that's what everybody would say...

what ever it is, i love my old self more...

*emotional*